The right way of flirting
Easiest way to flush them out
My friend: Did you heard about the Italian man who died recently, he pasta way
Me: Thats very sad. Venice the funeral?
(Please excuse my poor english as it is not my first language)
Edit: I am not a dad, I am a 15 year old teen
Edit 2: Thank you u/Mnt2bdaddy for the wholesome award.
The way thou maketh me feel.
Does anyone know the best way to remove ice from a windscreen?
I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....
I got lost on my way to the store because I was...
I built a catapult that can send a human from the USA all the way to Africa
What country you end up in depends on the Angola approach
I wrote an essay in highschool about lottery winners who ended up losing. Apparently I thought this was way funnier than it is.
Did you hear about the lettuce farmer who was murdered on his way to the farmers' market?
They found his romaines at the scene of the crime.
He's gonna reach there one way or an otter
Not my joke in any way but thought people might like it.
Video games are an ex-seal-lent way to "seal" some seally puns!
Which way did the programmer go?
There's way more cool stuff
I think i spent way too much on this table
It is just not a foldable.
What’s the coolest way to die?
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
I like the way earth rotates.
I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
Best way to contact a dead Italian.....
Scientists have discovered a way to walk through walls....
What's the best way to get on your feet?
On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, “You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren’t you?”
She said, “Yeah.”
I said, “I knew it!”
What's the modern way to donate to the church?
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....
It said bear left, so we went home.
I heard Ian McKellan, Ian McDiarmid, and Ian Holm are teaming up to defend the Milky Way.
They’re calling themselves the Guard-Ians of the Galaxy.
What do you call a guy whose car breaks down on his way to meeting his lover?
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
What’s the most effective way to write a murder mystery?
I’ve seen way too many Hindsight is 2020 jokes tonight.
I should’ve seen it coming, but... you know.
What’s the best way to transport a giant foot?
Scientists have realised that trees have a way of communicating with each other...
The best way to make your pants last
Is to make your shirt first
The best way to tell the difference between an Indian and an African elephant is
that one of them is an elephant.
What's the best way to check the quality of Lady Gaga's botox?
I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.
What is the worst way to ruin a joke?
What's the best way to avoid getting killed by sheep?
I have designed a way to combine cell phone and moving stair technologies. Want to know what it’s called?
Tellulater.
I had to pull of the road to post this cause I’ve been laughing at myself for the last 5 miles.
Which way do dildos turn?
What did Joe say to Donald on his way out the door?
What is the best way to cancel an appointment?
What’s the best way to trap a polar bear?
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
This happens way too often
My two sons 5&8 are playing Minecraft this morning on survival. They are working hard together to build their mansion. I crossed the room in front of the TV to grab my phone as they are balanced high on a wall constructing a roof. My son screams out, “Dad get out of the way!”
I said, “You’re the ones blocking!”
My daughter told me she saw a deer on the way to school.
Me: “How do you know it was going to school?”
I love the way the earth rotates.
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
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