Research shows that left handed people waste more food than right handed people
Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
Your undergraduate diploma was a complete waste of money, you should throw it in the fire.
That's a first degree burn.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
All that thyme and effort wasted
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.. COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY!
He just stands there applauding and saying βOoh, I love how smooth it isβ
π︎ 468
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
I bought a new clock. Total waste of money.
Itβs spends all day doing tik toks.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 26 2020
I canβt believe I wasted all my time trying to help rearrange the vending machines at my local grocery store...
Iβve been moving them around all day but they still say they are βOut of Orderβ
π︎ 58
π
︎ Oct 22 2020
Most people told me learning sign language was a waste of time
But I find it to be a pretty handy skill
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Did you know Bruce Banner disposes 95% of his waste in an environmentally friendly way?
Yes, heβs pretty green.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
well reading this wasn't such a waste of time
π︎ 50
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
Unpealievable..
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
Wasted genius
π︎ 194
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
Why is it wasteful to eat a clock?
Because it's time consuming.....
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
Did you hear about the sentry for the waste water treatment plant?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck drivers they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...
How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
My humour is wasted on 9gag
π︎ 30
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
Wasted 4 hours in the ER this morning getting a mole checked out.
Apparently they all look the same and I should have left it in the yard.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
Those who waste whisky ...
Simply don't give a dram.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
Just happened a few minutes ago. Whilst wrapping an easel for our daughter my better half said "how am I going to wrap this?" I replied "Easely". Not even a smile :( wasted talent here.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 21 2018
I was with my friend Philip and we had a lot of waste we needed to dispose of.
"Where's the nearest landfill?" I asked.
"There's land everywhere," he replied.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 24 2020
What do you get when you eat 3.14 cakes?
You get fat. What, were you expecting a pi joke? Reddit doesnβt have pie days!
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
My Brilliant Humor is Wasted on the Young
This happened today.
I'm at park/playground with my kid. He's playing, I'm throwing a ball for my dog.
Three little girls, maybe around 10 years old, run up. "Can we pet your dog?"
Me, "Sure, would you like to throw the ball for her?"
One of the girls takes the thrower and chucks the ball. It goes a long way.
Me: "Wow, great throw!"
Girl: "I've got my dad's arms."
Me (already laughing on the inside): "Really? What does he use?"
They stare at me.
Sigh.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 24 2018
My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, βIf you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!β
I replied, βI'm on the toilet, please adviseβ¦β
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Jun 15 2020
What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in a year?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Just thought this : I went to the doctor cause I was pooping clocks
The doctor told me i was wasting time
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
My wife just threw away my favourite herb.
She's such a Thyme waster
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
The other dads in my Zoom meeting today may have been a bit jealous. I mentioned how my adolescent daughter has been so generous and nice during quarantine while I use the family computer for work, instead of her wasting time all day, watching YouTube. I have to say,
I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 27 2020
I believe y is up
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jun 02 2020
I made a steak with herbs
But it was a waste of thyme
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
My son just handed me a coaster from a packet of Rolos
My quick reply of it being coaster celebrate was totally wasted on him, being only a toddler.
So remember, doesn't matter whether the glass is half empty or half full. When you're a dad, life is like a rolo coaster.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 22 2021
The Orions Belt is a Big Waste of Space
I'll Admit that was a bad joke
Just 3 Stars
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 23 2019
Donβt wanna waste time
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jul 16 2019
I run out of toilet paper...
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
Why fart and waste it...
..When you can burp and taste it.
(My friend's dad said this)
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 13 2020
Just cleaning out the fridge and found this dried up and shrivelled behind the egg tray. What a waste.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 26 2019
My dad: You know what they say... A Mayan is a terrible thing to waste. Me: Who says that?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 08 2020
I hate reading puns about herbs. Seriously! They are such a waste of thyme...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
Below the waste...
π︎ 46
π
︎ Jun 17 2018
So I can legit ride a unicycle. My mom told me it was a waste of time and would never get me anywhere in life....
I said βno mom! Where thereβs a wheel, thereβs a way!β
π︎ 455
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.
Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.
π︎ 176
π
︎ Jan 11 2019
So I overclocked my phone...
π︎ 52
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
The guy I asked for directions from wasted no time helping me.
He was straight to the point.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
the title is here to waste time
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jan 26 2019
Opportunity wasted
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 31 2018
The 5 stages of butter
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
Hope im not wasting your thyme by posting this here.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 16 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
