WAST Puns

It’s spends all day doing tik toks.

He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is”

But I find it to be a pretty handy skill

I’ve been moving them around all day but they still say they are “Out of Order”

Yes, he’s pretty green.

Because it's time consuming.....

He has guard doody!

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...

How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

Apparently they all look the same and I should have left it in the yard.

Simply don't give a dram.

You get fat. What, were you expecting a pi joke? Reddit doesn’t have pie days!

"Where's the nearest landfill?" I asked.

"There's land everywhere," he replied.

I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”

A trophy.

She's such a Thyme waster

I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.

This happened today.

I'm at park/playground with my kid. He's playing, I'm throwing a ball for my dog.

Three little girls, maybe around 10 years old, run up. "Can we pet your dog?"

Me, "Sure, would you like to throw the ball for her?"

One of the girls takes the thrower and chucks the ball. It goes a long way.

Me: "Wow, great throw!"

Girl: "I've got my dad's arms."

Me (already laughing on the inside): "Really? What does he use?"

They stare at me.

Sigh.

..When you can burp and taste it. (My friend's dad said this)

I'll Admit that was a bad joke Just 3 Stars

My dad: Not the Spanish!

Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.

“It’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. “I’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”

“Well, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.

“What are you talking about?” he yelped.

“You know why, Gabe,” I said. “Those who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”

It would be a waste of time.

I said “no mom! Where there’s a wheel, there’s a way!”

Well, I think she should look at the bigger picture.

He was straight to the point.

The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".

Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

I told her to please leave it in the jug.

My wife eye-rolled SO hard and then apologized to the cashier :D

The cashier was laughing though, so I'll take the win.

That’s a lot of wasted votes

They didn't do anything, to deserve that

They really tick me off.