In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
What was troubling the Deer leader of the Elk socialist republic?
The Stagnation of the Buck
Son: "Did you hear about those lunatics? They've been troubling humans and the animals alike!"
Dad: "Really?! Last time I checked there were no ticks on the moon."
I’m having trouble making decisions today...
I’m not really sure how I feel about that.
The teacher caught me stirring up trouble in chemistry class...
...so she sent me home with a colloidal suspension.
Why did the egyptians have trouble with acceptance?
Because the were in de-Nile.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
I'm having trouble finding out what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals!
Why do Australian bees never get into trouble?
Because they always beehive
Made a wooden car with a wooden engine only trouble was
Batman gets word that somebody is in trouble and needs to be rescued quick...
Batman: Robin! Quick! Go get the Batmobile!
Robin: Sure thing, Batman!
A few minutes later...
Robin: The Batmobile won't start. In fact, it won't even turn over!
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What's a tery?
Smokey the bear was having trouble finding a date.
I guess he was afraid to use tinder.
A Navy captain got in trouble for ordering an anchor much too large for his ship
Why did the hand have trouble using its watch?
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
The guy who invented the Hokey Pokey died last week.
Turns out they had a lot of trouble putting him in his coffin. Because everytime they put his right leg in, he put his right leg out.
Did you know Jeff Bezos has trouble sleeping?
Unless he has his pajamazon
I ran into the vets this morning and said to the blonde receptionist, "Quick, I think my daughters hamster is in serious trouble".
"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".
Went to my doctor and said I was having trouble with my hearing.
He asked: “can you describe the symptoms?”
I said: “sure, they’re yellow. Marge has blue hair and Homer’s really fat”.
If you ever have trouble doing math.
You can always count on a calculator.
A man attacked an employee at a Starbucks
The crime was considered a coffee mug.
I still don't understand why I got in trouble in high school for turning in my Biology lab notebook with a turd in it.
The teacher told us specifically to keep a log in our notebook!
My wife sometimes has trouble thinking of the right word for things. This morning, she asked me "what's it called when you have no bars?" Without missing a beat, I told her...
"Prohibition." She wasn't as amused as I was, I'm afraid.
What is a witches favorite gum?
My Dalmatian has trouble sleeping
[META] Dad jokes should be clean, not just groan-inducing. That's what makes it a Dad joke, we can tell it to the kids in front of Mom and not get in trouble (other than maybe for the punchline).
I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..
..you could call it an Autumnobile now !
What film do you make when Batman is in trouble?
I have no trouble holding my alcohol
unless the glass is slippery
I was having trouble getting our kid buckled into a new carseat...
When I was a child, I had trouble memorizing multiplication tables.
There I was this morning, sitting and drinking Coffee in my slippers , and I thought to myself..
..I really need to clean a few mugs around here.
Why did the ram get in trouble for insulting the female sheep?
Cause he called her an ew!
What do you call a woman who loves to cook up trouble?
I’m reading a horror book in Braille.
Something bad is going to happen.
I can feel it.
What do you call a performer who has trouble sleeping?
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
Why do people have trouble sleeping?
It's so easy. I can do it with my eyes closed.
My Bro-in-law cracks me up XD
If you're having trouble connecting your bluetooth device, just dress in green, sit on a perch and repeat everything that tech support tells you.
It's the only way to parrot.
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
How did the Figure Skater know he was about to get in trouble?
A car battery was arrested by the cops for causing trouble at the bar
But they had to let him go, they couldn’t find anything to charge him with.
Ladies: If you think your man has trouble "opening up,"
My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she’s in love with me.
What happens when an artist has trouble finding inspiration ?
My wife emailed me pictures of our wedding, but I couldn’t open any of the files.
I always have trouble with emotional attachments.
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