If you have trouble believing someone is telling the truth or not; ask them if they like big butts

For they cannot lie

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I ran into the vets this morning and said to the blonde receptionist, "Quick, I think my daughters hamster is in serious trouble".

"Hamster?" she laughed, "That's a snake".

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Batman gets word that somebody is in trouble and needs to be rescued quick...

Batman: Robin! Quick! Go get the Batmobile!

Robin: Sure thing, Batman!

A few minutes later...

Robin: The Batmobile won't start. In fact, it won't even turn over!

Batman: Check the battery.

Robin: What's a tery?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What film do you make when Batman is in trouble?

The Dark Knight Crisis

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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My friend can smell when trouble is brewing...

He's the scenter of a tension.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Apple is making their own car, but have been having some trouble

They can't install Windows.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Daughter is having trouble homeschooling at the moment. "Argh i can't spell today..."

T-o-d-a-y

Boom

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adz1179
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A zookeeper is having trouble sleeping...

because of a certain case, which made it so that all the zoo animals had to stay in his bedroom. One of them keeps on waking him up, but he’s not sure which one. He goes to see an expert on similar situations like this. They go over which one is the most likely. The expert says:

β€œIt’s not the fox, since those are quiet. It’s also most likely not the monkeys, because these types sleep well.”

They have a conversation like this, but the zookeeper keeps on wanting to talk about his elephant, which he loved and thought would never want to wake him up. The expert notices and plays along for a while, avoiding the subject until all other animals are no longer a suspect. The expert finally gets tired and asks the zookeeper:

β€œAre we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Organic chemistry is difficult. They who study it have alkynes of trouble
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poodipie69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If you help someone who is in trouble he'll remember you

when he's in trouble again

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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What do you say when a Rook is causing trouble?

The Rook is causing a rookus.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatWeirdoShep
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
He is in uber trouble...
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertRose23
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
1 boy was named trouble and the other was called shutup. One day trouble got lost so shutup went to the police station and said β€˜I lost my brother’. The police said β€˜what is your name’ β€˜shutup’ the police said β€˜what did you say to me’ β€˜shutup’. The police said β€˜are you looking for trouble’ β€˜yep’
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meme-for-me
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Pumpkin is in trouble...
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boober000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
*after the train had had trouble stopping in the right spot for multiple consecutive stops* Mom: I guess the guy driving is new.

Dad: Maybe he's a trainee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My son cheated on his physics test, and has no idea how much trouble he is in.

He doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
The only time I get called "Sir" is when I'm in trouble.

Like, "Sir, you're gonna have to get out. The ball pit is for kids only Sir."...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The alligator that works at my store is always getting people in trouble

He's a real in-store-gator!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stand_Defiant
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The orange fruit company is in trouble

We haven't been able to extract the problem yet, but there will be a press conference shortly

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuinmeubelen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My anatomy teacher is having trouble deciding which part of the body to teach us about today.

You could say she has a bone to pick.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zeewild
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If a transvestite is causing trouble....

Is that considered shemanigans?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwToRdD3YHv8Up
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big Trouble.

You have my Word.

πŸ‘︎ 339
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConKowski
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2013
🚨︎ report
As a solider, my first instinct when I see trouble is to run to it, but my Sargent always tells me....

...that before I can run, I need to learn to March first.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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It's so sad that aquarium is having financial troubles...

Some might say its floundering

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sendtobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
🚨︎ report
Everyone is talking about how ISIS is causing so much trouble in the Middle East, but what they're forgetting is that ISIS just frozen water
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/naturalbodyshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dwarf psychic that is in trouble with the law?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nietsniEtreblA
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
🚨︎ report
My baby girl is going to have trouble with the cops.

She is always refusing to take a nap

And resisting a rest

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2015
🚨︎ report
A kid asks his dad if he is in trouble.

The dad looks at his son and says, "No, you can't have a new name, Robert."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
🚨︎ report

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