I tripped over my wife’s bra...
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, “Arrr! That was a costly mistake...”
“We lost a lot of doubloons.”
So I was buying cheese the other day when the clerk came out with a large wheel. Problem is, they tripped, landing on the wheel and crushed it. He asked if I still wanted it. I said no. He asked why.
I simple told him "It's no Gouda!"
I heard once that going down a hill, a bloke tripped with a coffin, and dropped it
He went into a chemist, and said, ‘I need something to stop my coffin’
I tripped over a box of Kleenex when coming home, needing an ER visit!
Don't worry--it's only tissue damage...
I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.
At the company picnic, my co-worker said he had some juicy gossip. He loaded up his plate but tripped on the way to my table...
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.
A woman tripped and fell off the balcony and had been cut in half. Still conscious, she was quickly rushed to the hospital...
Manager: what did the doctor say to the woman’s family?
Me: after thinking ...yea I’m not sure
Manager: “she was ALL RIGHT.”
Me: oh, I thought you were going to say “There’s nothing LEFT.”
The manager at work got a kick out of that because that was an answer he has never gotten before lol figured I’d post it here.
I tripped and fell down the steps this morning. My son comes running over asking "Daddy, are you alright?"
I said "No, son. I'm half left."
I tripped over something in the bathroom and nearly killed myself.
It was a toilet brush with death.
The guy next to me tripped and yelled "Motherfucker!"
Talk about a Freudian slip.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
I was doing some work in the garden and tripped over a rock.
Damn it, I soiled myself.
What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
I was cooking pasta when I tripped and fell into the colander.
I tripped on a "slippery when wet" sign today.
I was floored by the irony.
I tripped over my wife's bra left on the bedroom floor last night...
For the longest time I couldn’t figure out how I tripped over the remains of that tree.
My brother went to his AA meeting drunk, then he tripped down the stairs.
He's been having lots of trouble with the steps lately.
My cat was walking on my furniture, as he does. Suddenly, he tripped on my bowling first-price award and both fell down, the award landing in the cat's anus.
The writer of Harry Potter tripped and fell...
She was J.K. Rowling on the Floor
My dad is a real estate salesman. Today he tripped and fell on my sister...
Did you hear about the chickpea that tripped over?
What did Harry Potter say when he tripped over his broom?
"Ow !! I Hur'-my-knee !!"
Was toasting a hot crossed bun and the power tripped, turned out a raisin had shorted against the toaster element
Must have been a fault currant
The marine biologist tripped and the chum bucket spilled all over everything
I tripped over a floor tile at work today-
One day I tripped and accidentally spilled my bottle of viagra down the sink.
Ever since then I’ve had a nasty limp
When I tripped at the museum I worked at years ago, I just so happened to bump into my future wife.
At that moment, I knew I fell in louvre.
Did you hear about the farmer who tripped while out sowing his field?
Tripped over my wife's bra.
I walked into the bedroom today and tripped over my wife’s bra.
I tripped over my girlfriends bra
seemed to be a booby trap.
I tripped over my wife’s bra today,
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she’d just ironed.
It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.
I watched it all unfold.
I tripped over my wife's bra
My wife just tripped and fell while carrying a bunch of clothes she just ironed.
I tripped over my wife's bra....
...It seemed to be a booby trap.
I thought I broke my ankle when I tripped on the tissue box
Turns out it was only tissue damage
I tripped over my girlfriends bra
seemed to be a booby trap.
I tripped over my girlfriend's bra.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!!
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help I've fallen and I can't giddyup!
What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
I walked into my wife's room and tripped over her bra...
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