I proudly showed my son, "Check this out! Bought a new shrub trimmer today!" He shrugged and replied, "That's great, dad." I continued...

"It’s cutting hedge technology!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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I bought a brand-new top-of-the-line string trimmer of a guy on craigslist for only $20

it was a total Stihl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrF4rtB4rf
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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I was going to make a pun about hedge trimmers...

But I don't know enough about their cutting hedge technology.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zap-Brannigan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2013
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I mixed up my lawn mower and beard trimmer again

My face is fine now, but the lawn is taking forever to finish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajorParadox
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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Did you hear about the hedge trimmer who tried out for the baseball team?

I don't think he made the cut...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wukeywukey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2013
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I think I took the wrong test.

This Briggs Stratton personality thing says I’m a hedge trimmer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whomikehidden
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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I noticed some really nasty weeds in my yard.

I tried my gas-powered trimmer, which is normally up to the task, but I couldn't cut through them.

I tried using my mower to tear them up, but it couldn't make a dent.

I got out the manual tree branch trimmer to try to take out some of the bigger stalks, but I just couldn't cut through.

Finally, I got out my chainsaw, and even then, the thicket just clogged it up & wouldn't go down.

I give up.

I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/popegonzo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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dadjoked my girlfriend today

I am trying to cut down a small tree that has grown through the fence at multiple points where it has engulfed a good portion of the fence. I asked my girlfriend to ask her parents if they have a chain saw to help with the job.

Girlfriend: "They don't have a chain saw, but they have a hedge trimmer."

Me: "Hedge trimmer is not strong enough. That's just not going to CUT it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjb9pd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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I bought a new shrub trimmer today…

It’s cutting hedge technology...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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I bought a new weed-whacker today...

It's cutting hedge technology...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
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