Bounty Paper Towels has introduced a drone which will retrieve a TV remote from anywhere in your house...

It’s the β€œClicker Picker Upper.”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryingstlfan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do you use an old towel to dry your dog?

Because it's a little rough

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pollrobots
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur that is also a towel?

A dry-ceratops

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I won a contest extracting the most water from a towel, I'm now known as the....

Lord of the Wrings.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a disabled paper towel?

A napkan't

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3rdeye88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy shooting paper towel rolls in the wild?

He was a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
At the beach, opposite the life guard, a man sleeps on a towel, adjacent an unopened umbrella.

When he wakes up, he's going to be a tan gent.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.

But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Had a race to see who could hang out our towels on the washing line quickest.

It was level pegging.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....

I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wbgsccgc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to tell a joke about towels...

But people don’t like my dry humor.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
If towels could tell jokes...

They would have a dry sense of humor

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Two Ninjas are in a cage match to the death. Which team throws in the towel first?

Nunchucks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MKUltraSonic
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Next time your wife is angry, give her a towel as cape.

Then say : now you are super angry! She might laugh.. you might die.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bartl74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
My FiancΓ©e was at the store earlier and she texted me saying, β€œShould I buy new beach towels?”

I wrote back, β€œShore.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/srpjr3795
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
The towels are so scratchy, the cats love them...

I thought only dogs knew "rough"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Neotec
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the Mandalorian’s favourite paper towel?

Bounty.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmust4chio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Anyone out shopping looking for paper towels can officially call themselves...

Bounty hunters

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are American towels communist?

They’re kept in the Lenin closet.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bug-hunter
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YDAQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
When places ran out of toilet paper people started buying paper towel instead

They found a new bounty

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Don't Gymnasts Use Towels?

Cause they tumble dry...

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Her: Hey, can you pick up my towel?

Me: Hey there towel, looking good. What are you doing later?

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A nun might put a towel on her head from time to time.

But she wouldn't make a habit of it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saelethil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I started getting death threats after wearing paper towels for a hat...

Apparently there's a Bounty on my head

πŸ‘︎ 827
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeLittleMan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2017
🚨︎ report
I think my towel has a crush on me because whenever I rub it on me it gets wet
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my kids a joke about our bovine print kitchen towel.

They said it was terry bull.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoosierplew
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A convict escapes from prison wearing paper towel shorts.

He’s now got a bounty on his head and his ass.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Defend2112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If a mortician and a snake get married, what will their towels say?

Hiss and Hearse

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RCubed111
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
A lot of people can't figure out the right way to dry their towels.

It's just something they tend to get hung up on.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Paper towels and toilet paper are terrible if they’re not tearable.

Pretty sure this post is terrible too, but I just couldn’t help myself today.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IIIIRadsIIII
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a baker putting a tea towel over a large bowl full of dough.

What’s he trying to prove?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T0MMY0
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Made a kitchen towel for my parents for Christmas
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pandapurrpurr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2017
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a roll of paper towel on his head....

Bartender asks what that's all about.

Pirate says "arrrrrgh, I have a bounty on me head"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonemonkey12
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the pirate wear a paper towel for a hat?

He had a bounty on his head.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOfAllTrades80
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel for a hat. The bartender asks, "What's with the paper towel?"

The pirate replies, "Arr, I got a Bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 388
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My paper towels went missing

So I had to hire a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AxReMi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

The bartender says; "hey, what's with the paper towel?" And the pirate says, "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I won a contest for draining the most water out of a towel...

I'm now known as the Lord of the Wrings.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercroft
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head

The bartender asks him why it's there, to which the pirate replies, "Arrr, there be a bounty on me head!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wc93
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t gymnasts use towels?

Cause they tumble dry...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamSchrute25
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife got angry at me, so I draped a towel down her back

Now she's SUPER ANGRY.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a turban made out of paper towels.

Bartender: What the hell?

Pirate: Arrr, there is a Bounty on me head.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant.

Dirty Bastards.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
All the paper towels went missing from my house.

Fortunately my dog is a Bounty hunter.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report

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