Torn Puns

A list of puns related to "Torn"

What do you call a guy who just had his arm torn off?

An ambulance

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👤︎ u/smiledude94
📅︎ Mar 08 2021
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Why did the torn piece of paper beat the regular piece of paper in a fight

Because he was ripped

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👤︎ u/Komebak
📅︎ Mar 14 2021
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Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....

My lawyer said I don’t have much of a case.

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👤︎ u/radiofirey
📅︎ Jan 04 2021
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An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.

‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.

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👤︎ u/lastatlongbourne
📅︎ Aug 30 2020
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I want to play tennis, but my tennis glove is torn.

I guess I’ll have to settle for bad mitten.

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👤︎ u/bci1516
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
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Why did the torn rope refuse to go to the dark cabin

He was A-frayed

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👤︎ u/PopeNeia062
📅︎ Feb 11 2020
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Her: Your shoes are all torn. You need a new pair.

Me: Are you asking me to reboot myself?

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 13 2018
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An ancient Greek walks into a tailor with torn pants...

He puts them on the counter of the store and the tailor looks at them.

"Euripedes?" he asks.

"Yes," says the man. "Eumenides?"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Sep 30 2017
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I’m torn on my opinion of masturbation

I mean, on one hand it feels good....

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👤︎ u/Onisarcade
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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Matthew McConaughey might have a torn ligament.

He's going to have an MRIRIRI scan.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ May 08 2019
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I needed some really strong tape, and I found some. I was disappointed when I found it could be torn.

The tape was tearable

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👤︎ u/nonuntitled
📅︎ Jun 16 2019
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Did you hear about that guy who got his whole left side torn off?

The doctors say he's going to be alright.

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👤︎ u/tjw
📅︎ Dec 12 2018
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I've never been to a gentleman's club, but I once read a torn newspaper with only the first 2 Calvin & Hobbes pannels intact,

so yeah I've had a strip tease.

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👤︎ u/Twigsnapper
📅︎ Nov 28 2017
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What did the leaf say after having grown back from being torn in half?

Well, that's a relief.

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👤︎ u/Fasefase
📅︎ Jun 16 2018
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Can yall help me with a class project? I need puns about ACLs (ligament). Torn or untorn is fine.

Thanks!

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👤︎ u/Scanlansam
📅︎ Nov 01 2015
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Wife: I’m feeling torn between these two choices

Me: let me go get some tape Wife: eye roll

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👤︎ u/SyscoKiddo
📅︎ Jan 13 2018
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I hate those jeans you buy that are pre-torn. They're an absolute rip-off.
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👤︎ u/Todd-Howard-is-Daddy
📅︎ Sep 07 2017
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So my brother was wearing torn jeans

Dad: "Are those your church pants?"

Bro: What?

Dad: Well, they're awfully hole-y!

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👤︎ u/MsRageQuit
📅︎ Feb 27 2015
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An Ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants

“Euripides?” says the tailor. “Yeah, Eumenides?” replies the man.

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👤︎ u/AlabamaMayan
📅︎ Nov 12 2019
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An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor shop with a torn pair of pants.

“Euripides?” Asks the tailor

“Yeah. Eumenides?” Replies the man

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👤︎ u/PurpleMonkeyFeet
📅︎ Jun 30 2018
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An ancient Greek walks into his tailor's shop with a pair of torn pants.

"Euripides?" says the tailor. "Yeah, Eumenides?" replies the man.

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👤︎ u/itsVinay
📅︎ Aug 16 2018
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An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor shop with a torn pair of pants. The tailor asks, “Euripides?” The man replies, “Yes. Eumenides?”
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👤︎ u/Uncouth-Youth
📅︎ Aug 26 2018
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An Ancient Greek walks into a tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.

“Euripides?” asks the tailor. “Yeah. Eumenides?” replies the man.

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👤︎ u/jakeopolis
📅︎ Dec 25 2018
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I've never been to a gentleman's club, but I once read a torn newspaper with only the first 2 Calvin & Hobbes pannels intact,

so yeah I've had a strip tease.

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👤︎ u/Twigsnapper
📅︎ Apr 08 2017
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