ton fils sΓ©rieux?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
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I have tons of unemployment jokes

None of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 62
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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What do you call a YouTuber that gives away a ton of bread?

Mr.Yeast

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Microsofte
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2021
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There’s tons of liquidity in this market
πŸ‘οΈŽ 384
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vacuums-really-suck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
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How to earn a ton of money in 1 easy step

Put 5 female pigs and 5 male deers in your backyard.

Congratulations, you now have ten sows and bucks!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/soba_todoroki
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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What do you call a ton of backlog work ?

Mountain Due

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kyatapleekhai03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2021
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A guy I know just bought a bunch (almost a shit-ton) of soft foam footballs and kerosene...

I think his plans are Nerfarious.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
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The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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a friend asked me to say won ton backwards ....

I said Not Now

Sorry , I had to do it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/4ROHIT7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ruebensrun1724
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2020
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Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..

.. last year I raked it in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
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DAB TON

Not the best joke, but it's not bad when you read it backwards.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Moerox111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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I know tons of dad jokes! Here’s one

1

πŸ‘οΈŽ 58
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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There once was a man who would buy tons of buckets of roofing sealant, change the label then resell them.

Sometimes he would simply rename the brand. Sometimes he would name it a different product entirely. In a few horrific instances he repackaged it as food products. Eventually he was found, arrested, and brought to court. And though he admitted to doing all those things, he insisted that he had done nothing illegal and that moreover, his actions were protected by the law and the Constitution. His reasoning?

"I have the right to rename sealant!!!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/epicukulele
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 29 2020
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Geroge Washing Ton and Bill Clean Ton
πŸ‘οΈŽ 46
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Safinkodyr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2020
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Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 26 2020
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Randy or ton.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/narendranoddy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
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β€œI’m about to be in a crap ton of pain.” β€œWhy?”

β€œI just ate spicy food, son.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cookiekiller6
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2020
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Wolverine delivered tons of gifts on Christmas

People called him Santa Claws

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sinish_anand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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My friend is a sushi chef and makes a ton of money.

He drives a Rolls-Rice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheTeddly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
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What do you call a president that has a ton of laundry to do?

Washington

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_Skylar_11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2020
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I see a ton of people driving in automobiles by themselves and still wearing a mask, what are they afraid of?

Car-onavirus?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
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The NBA played it's first game in France yesterday. I decided to use that opportunity to make a ton of French puns. roto.life/nba-paris-game-…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bathrobeDFS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2020
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A truck unloaded tons of hand tools into a river...

It is now a screwed river

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2020
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What's called when people start buying tons of stuff "just in case" during a crisis?

Stock-at-home syndrome.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vortelf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2020
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A ton of milk weighs less in the car.

Then it's only a carton.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2019
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Did you know that TON spelled backwards is NUT

No it’s not

πŸ‘οΈŽ 151
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stardust4242
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2018
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I eat a ton of corn everyday.

I guess that makes me a cornivore.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Azikiro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2019
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Light reflecting off Vietnamese soup should be called Pho tons
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/snuzet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2019
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Why do ants never get sick? Because the have a ton of ant-i body’s
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/articpeepergeneral
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 09 2019
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What do you call a machine that makes a ton of the letter s?

A s lot machine.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/takemytwixbyforce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I love using Anker cables, I bought a ton of them to charge all my devices. Although, I have so many of them now, it's hard to keep them in order.

I need to take an Anker Management class.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uabassguy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve always wondered what a ton of bricks would feel like

And then it hit me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MeTrickulous
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2019
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What is the opposite of ton?

No, it's not.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ateoclockminusthel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I always wondered why my dog has to stop and sniff a ton of things for ages on our daily walks...

...and then it dawned on me she's just checking her peemail.

I suppose this morning's half-hearted squat to pee while moving was a reply-all.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2018
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Me: I met a ton of people

Dad: You had them weighed?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/luna-love-good
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I know a ton of halloween jokes

A sekele-ton

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/barwhalis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
George Washing a ton
πŸ‘οΈŽ 95
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrazyFox1337
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2015
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My grandma in Liverpool got scammed out of a ton of money.

2000 pounds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Freklred
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...

Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I have tons of unemployment jokes.

I'd tell you one but none of them work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/electricianmagician
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A ton of milk weighs less in a car, because then it's a carton.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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