ton fils sΓ©rieux?
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M_Arslan_Tahir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
I have tons of unemployment jokes

None of them work

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenman2359
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
What do you call a YouTuber that gives away a ton of bread?

Mr.Yeast

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Microsofte
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
There’s tons of liquidity in this market
πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
How to earn a ton of money in 1 easy step

Put 5 female pigs and 5 male deers in your backyard.

Congratulations, you now have ten sows and bucks!

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soba_todoroki
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11
🚨︎ report
What do you call a ton of backlog work ?

Mountain Due

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kyatapleekhai03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
A guy I know just bought a bunch (almost a shit-ton) of soft foam footballs and kerosene...

I think his plans are Nerfarious.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
a friend asked me to say won ton backwards ....

I said Not Now

Sorry , I had to do it

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/4ROHIT7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruebensrun1724
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Now that the Fall is officially here, I can't wait to make tons of extra money gathering leaves..

.. last year I raked it in.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
DAB TON

Not the best joke, but it's not bad when you read it backwards.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moerox111
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I know tons of dad jokes! Here’s one

1

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
There once was a man who would buy tons of buckets of roofing sealant, change the label then resell them.

Sometimes he would simply rename the brand. Sometimes he would name it a different product entirely. In a few horrific instances he repackaged it as food products. Eventually he was found, arrested, and brought to court. And though he admitted to doing all those things, he insisted that he had done nothing illegal and that moreover, his actions were protected by the law and the Constitution. His reasoning?

"I have the right to rename sealant!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicukulele
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Geroge Washing Ton and Bill Clean Ton
πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safinkodyr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Randy or ton.
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/narendranoddy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œI’m about to be in a crap ton of pain.” β€œWhy?”

β€œI just ate spicy food, son.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookiekiller6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Wolverine delivered tons of gifts on Christmas

People called him Santa Claws

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sinish_anand
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is a sushi chef and makes a ton of money.

He drives a Rolls-Rice.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTeddly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a president that has a ton of laundry to do?

Washington

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Skylar_11
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I see a ton of people driving in automobiles by themselves and still wearing a mask, what are they afraid of?

Car-onavirus?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The NBA played it's first game in France yesterday. I decided to use that opportunity to make a ton of French puns. roto.life/nba-paris-game-…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bathrobeDFS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A truck unloaded tons of hand tools into a river...

It is now a screwed river

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What's called when people start buying tons of stuff "just in case" during a crisis?

Stock-at-home syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vortelf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A ton of milk weighs less in the car.

Then it's only a carton.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know that TON spelled backwards is NUT

No it’s not

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stardust4242
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I eat a ton of corn everyday.

I guess that makes me a cornivore.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azikiro
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Light reflecting off Vietnamese soup should be called Pho tons
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do ants never get sick? Because the have a ton of ant-i body’s
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a machine that makes a ton of the letter s?

A s lot machine.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/takemytwixbyforce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I love using Anker cables, I bought a ton of them to charge all my devices. Although, I have so many of them now, it's hard to keep them in order.

I need to take an Anker Management class.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uabassguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve always wondered what a ton of bricks would feel like

And then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeTrickulous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the opposite of ton?

No, it's not.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I always wondered why my dog has to stop and sniff a ton of things for ages on our daily walks...

...and then it dawned on me she's just checking her peemail.

I suppose this morning's half-hearted squat to pee while moving was a reply-all.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Batshit_Betty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: I met a ton of people

Dad: You had them weighed?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luna-love-good
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I know a ton of halloween jokes

A sekele-ton

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhalis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
George Washing a ton
πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyFox1337
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
🚨︎ report
My grandma in Liverpool got scammed out of a ton of money.

2000 pounds.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...

Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I have tons of unemployment jokes.

I'd tell you one but none of them work

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A ton of milk weighs less in a car, because then it's a carton.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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