I have only my shelf to blame.
A friend gave me a load of cooking ingredients but no recipe.
I thought "I don't know what to make of this"
The cashier asked if I wanna box for it. I had to tell him wrestling was more my sport.
I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!
It's a loaf hat diet.
I thought "That's a turtle disaster".
Baaa rain 🇧🇭
It was a large scale celebration.
Taken from fb
I was collecting C Cells on the sea shore.
He only went for a gander
Police are combing the area
People are dying to get in!
Math, physics, comp sci. The only easy class was "The American Century." Open book midterm and final, so he wasn't going to do any of the reading all semester.
“It’s a huge waste of time, Dad,” he laughed when I objected. “I’m not learning a damn thing in the class.”
“Well, then you’re just going to have to take that class over again,” I snapped at him.
“What are you talking about?” he yelped.
“You know why, Gabe,” I said. “Those who don’t learn from history are condemned to repeat it.”
I never slaw it coming.
So my dad brought her a glass of wine.
It was amazing.
That took a lot of guts!
..It's Hans free now.
I just can't think of one atm
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
It’s was from my uncle Ben
Now I've got post traumatic stress
Urine.
Haulin’ Oats... 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ I’ll show myself to the door. -dad
Post-Traumatic Stress Dishorder.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
The Port side.
20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I'm loafing along and a gluten for punishment.
Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don't get it in on time I'm toast!
Sorry about my rye sense of humor...
Turns out he was being fostered.
Once a pun a time
A bystander helps him and calls the ambulance for him, The transport driver tells the man to take the penguins to the zoo then man says okay. Later when the truck driver was released from the hospital he sees the man walking out of the movie theatre with a line of penguins behind him, he asked what the hell hes doing and the man said, well you told me to take them to the zoo, i did, then i took them to the mall and now the movies.
"Well," she said. "It did say on the clothing labels to wash in, like, colors."
I said is this net working?
He said no its fishing
Day of the triffics
Now that I listen to full albums, I rarely leave the house.
.. an employee offered to lend him a hand
But in hindsight, I was just acting on Impulse.
It was the wurst case scenario.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
I know exactly who sent it.
It was my Uncle Ben.
