My friend claims he can eat 5 five kilos of sausages

He's full of bologna

Edit:spelling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nuudom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Went to the grocery store and asked for 3 pounds of potatoes. "We don't have pounds", the grocer stated, "only kilos".

Annoyed, I went, "fine. I'll take 3 pounds of kilos then".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arr_jay816
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Why won’t Americans switch from pounds to kilos?

It would cause mass confusion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fuckleberyfinn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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My wife and I recently had a child on accident. We didn't want a child at all as we are rather young and wanted to wait a few years. He was born yesterday at the whopping weight of 8 kilos.

We've made a massive mistake

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxygenatedair66
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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What's a thousand times better than Instagram?

Instakilogram.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MolecularPotato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2020
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Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
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Ohmmmmmm
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hauntedshock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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In the UK, weights are really expensive,

A 45 kilo kettle bell is 100 pounds!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year

So I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fisteves
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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My kids are so obsessed with the lizard from the movie Tangled, we have over a thousand figures of it around the house...

Let me tell you keeping track of a kilo of Pascals is a lot of pressure

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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My camera was low on storage, so I was only able to photograph a shark attacking a seal.

It’s just one kilo-byte.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harperhampshirian
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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I found an enormous marine mammal that weighs 2.2lbs.

It's a kilo whale.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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What's larger than a pico de gallo?

A kilo de gallo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prae_Cedric
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
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While watching Master Chef with my parents tonight...

I sat down to watch TV with my parents and they decided to play Master Chef. I'm familiar with the show, but haven't seen any of this season. I'm sitting there, complimenting the fantastic weight loss of Graham, one of the judges, when my dad goes:

"Yeah, you know, last year he was going by the name kiloGraham, but now he just goes by Graham!"

I laughed, my mom groaned, and the cleverness of the joke, (which is far from usual), was enjoyed by all. :)

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
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What would happen if Americans switched from pounds to kilos overnight?

There would be mass confusion

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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Imagine what would happen if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...

There would be mass confusion!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AYKW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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