I asked the coronavirus the other day how it made it’s way to Western Asia.

It replied: β€œIran”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uraverageuser1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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I once hiked to a lake with the states of Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York on its western, southern, and eastern shores. Not a bird was singing and the lake was still...

It was Erie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Just finished reading "All Quiet On The Western Front"

That book is really remarqueable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/finch770
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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What’s purple and sits on the western edge of Europe?

Grape Britain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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WW1 generals on the western front were really stubborn.

One could say they were entrenched in their ineffective tactics.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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The Brawl at the Western Wall
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πŸ‘€︎ u/longlenge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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When making new tunnels on the western plain, prairie dogs get help

The hole family pitches in

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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I talked my dad into watching a samurai movie by calling it the Japanese equivalent of a Western.

Dad: "So it's an Eastern."

I walked right into that one.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/quodpossumus
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2017
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I asked my dad about the origin of Western Philosophy...

He said: "I don't remember much of it... It was all Greek to me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowlbert
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2017
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Dad joke found on the side of a racetrack in western KY

Driving past a racetrack off I-24 in Kentucky, there's a large banner on the side of the press box, visible from the highway:

YOUR WIFE IS HOT

Time to get the A/C fixed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jermscentral
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Announcement In Bar

A guy walks into a crowded bar, waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a .9mm Smith and Western with an eight shot magazine and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

A deep voice from the back of the room called out, "You don't have enough ammo!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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I am staying at a hotel and watched a great movie last night with lots of cowboys, gunfights, and drinking.

It was the Best Western I’ve ever seen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Just read some books...

The night in Lisbon, Three Comrades, Spark of Life, All Quiet on the Western Front... They are all... Remarqable novels.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arm3tt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Singing French Knights

In the Middle Ages, Western France was known for it singing knights. The most famous group were a bunch of lancers from the town of Brittany. They were known as the Brittany Spears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuba_phone
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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What's Pizza Ranch?

My 12 year old son was riding with me the other day and noticed a new restaurant had just opened up in a town nearby. It's a chain of Western themed pizza restaurants called "Pizza Ranch." So when my son asked "What's Pizza Ranch?" I obviously had to respond with "Well that's where they raise all the dough."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Upnortwi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
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Got my friends yesterday

We were talking about in-breeding, and my friend who is an archaeologist was saying how we're all in-bred in some sense of the word because of a debated small group of people leaving Africa a debated amount of time ago produced most of the western world (or possibly didn't).

I watched on, waiting for the end of the conversation to say "Whatever... you're all in-bred but I'm in pizza"

The groans were instantaneous.

(Bonus: also a few days ago we were ordering indian and my friend was gonna get chicken korma but I warned him "Korma's a bitch".)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/penthousedizzle
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2015
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Dad dropped bombs all night long...

Japanese Hibatchi steakhouse, all the chefs in cheesy cowboy outfits.

Dad: I guess you're from Western Japan.
Chef: Oooo got me there.

Groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nrthstar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2014
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Professor got a fellow student in class today

We were talking about when women gained the right to vote in the U.S. in my Western Civilization class when my professor launched this zinger. Prof:"When was your grandmother born?" Student:"1917" Prof:"Why couldn't she vote when she was born?" Student:"Because women didn't have the right to vote yet." Prof:"No, because she was only one day old!"

I laughed, most of the class gave a nice groan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IBlazeWithBob
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2014
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Dadjoked at the ballpark

I work in Marketing for an east coast MLB team. The other day, we held a "Country Western Night" and had various attractions in and around the stadium that went with the theme. One of these was a 'NASCAR simulator'- which was essentially just a racing game you'd find at any arcade. At the 8th inning, just before closing time, a man walked by with his wife, both sipping beer and watching kids play the game. We were closing after those last two kids, so I asked him if he wanted to play, or if he was just watching. He responded with, "Oh, I'm just watching", gestured with his beer and said, "I don't want to drink and drive anyway".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolarsystem
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
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All quiet on the western front...

Was very Remarqueable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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