A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
The thief who stole my iPhone
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…
What did the thief say when he was robbing a fruit stand?
Hands up! This is a rob-berry!
I can’t stand the local livestock thief...
...he really gets my goat.
The police easily caught the thief who stole a board game.
It was a trivial pursuit.
How did the thief get home from the Chinese restaurant?
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?
They took him into custardy
I don’t understand why the thief who stole my currency collection took all the bills but left all the coins.
It was a cents-less crime.
How did the tampon thief get what he wanted
He had to pull some strings
What did the wig shop owner shout at the thief as they ran out of the store with one of the hair pieces?
Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeé for that!!
What’s the difference between Keanu and a bakery thief?
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
A thief has stolen all the hand sanitizer from the supermarket
he seems to have made a clean getaway
How'd they work out the thief was a T-Rex?
A mysterious thief has stolen all the toilets from the local sheriff's office.
The police have nothing to go on.
The tampon thief got out of prison
Why did the music thief get such good grades?
He was really good at taking notes
Did you hear about the thief who stole a supply truck of disinfectant?
Why did the thief take the soap?
So he can make a clean getaway.
I saw my bike get stolen, but by the time I tried to catch the thief...
they were Gone with the Schwinn.
What did the chicken nugget thief say to his victim?
Nothing, he just took the nugget and dipped.
What did the cake thief do after the police released him on bail?
What did the guy who got his dictionary stolen say to the thief?
Why did the porcine car thief lose his legs?
He took it to the wrong chop shop.
Why did the thief target the local pizza shop??
Because they are rolling in the dough..
To the thief who took my anti-depressants.
What did the thief say when he was arrested for stealing from the kitchen?
It was a whisk he was willing to take.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
To the thief who stole my pillow,know this.
I will not rest until i find you.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low
Why was the car thief arrested?
Did you hear about the two thiefs
Did you hear about the two thiefs who stole a calendar.
They each got six months.
Did you hear about the thief who jumped into the fish pond?
People said he was very coy
To the thief who took my anti depressants
Which of Winnie The Poohs friends was actually a thief?
A thief attempted to steal paintings from the Louvre in Paris...
But was captured two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. All he could say for himself was “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried anyway because I had nothing Toulouse!”
Why didn’t the thief have any friends in prison?
He robbed people the wrong way
An aspiring thief enters the theatre...
...and steals the spotlight.
A thief broke into the local theatre last night...
Reports say that he stole the spotlight
A Thief walks into a theater and steals the spotlight
Did you hear about the party thief?
I mean, I've seen some pretty crazy people at parties, but this guy definitely takes the cake.
I couldn’t believe the highway department called my dad a thief.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
The cops in my town are looking for a thief who has been stealing futons from different stores.
What's the difference between a thief that's struggling with depression, and some gum trees getting chopped down by a cat with a chainsaw?
One's a felon feeling glum, and the other is a feline felling glum
The thief that stole my diary and my book on world religions died today.
My thoughts and prayers are now with his family.
I heard they finally caught the art thief
But I think he was framed.
What kind of thief is the strongest?
The thief who stole my iPhone ....
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