My adorable three month old daughter thought about coming up with this joke today...Why did the little shrimp have trouble keeping friends?
Because she was shellfish.
What did the black dad and white mom name their little boy?
Why can’t the little girl watch the pirate movie?
Little Billy got hit in the stomach with an ancient calculator
His mom had to give his abacus
daughter: "dad, why did you tape a little paper crown to the end of my ruler"
me: "..."
daughter: "..."
me: smiles
daughter: walks away
What did the daddy star say to the little boy star?
Little Horse on The Prairie.
In a shop the other day, a little girl (about 7 years old) came and asked my wife if she could tell her a joke
Obviously my wife said yes and the girl came out with this
Why do you have to go to bed?
Because the bed doesn’t come to you!
I immediately burst out laughing as I’d never heard that one before! Was great to know that the dad joke tradition is in safe hands with the younger generations!
What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
My pop is bigger then your pop.
The wife: You've gained a little weight. You should exercise a little.
Me: I did sit-ups this morning.
The wife: You just sat up from a nap on the couch.
Me: Yeah. It took me six tries.
Little known fact, the death star was measured in feet...
Only because they wanted to use imperial units
My friend may be a little "rough around the edges", but he's NEVER late.
If you are stuck in the wilderness without toilet paper, here’s a little tip.
Take a page out of Bear Grylls’ book.
Little known fact: Before the crowbar was invented.
Crows simply drank at home
What do you call a little nap on the couch before you go sleep in bed for the night?
You've been warned. It might be a little early in the day for this one.
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it’s clear why everyone calls me handsome.
I swear, every time I take the orange juice out I spill a little of it
How I finally figured out I'd gotten old: Was watching TV and saw John Lithgow saying, "You know what? The last time I went to the movies I bought my ticket at that little window... and I paid cash!"
And I'm thinking. "So... what's your point."
(took me a while to work it out but eventually funnier than sad on balance.)
The world is a little worse since Ray Liotta died.
You have to enjoy the little things in life
unfortunatly my ex didn't.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him, what?
A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A big moron and a little moron are sitting on the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge. The big moron stupidly falls off.
But his friend didn't because he was a little moron.
A teacher asked the class to write a sentence with defence, defeat, detail. Little Johnny wrote:
when a horse jumps over defence, defeat go first and then detail
When swimming I always tell a little joke just before my head emerges from the water
to help break the tension.
The little mermaid always got bad grades because..
A little too on the nose?
https://preview.redd.it/uneekbiwwv291.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=d2dacb06e77c5edf1523bb4640ff93d8010930cb
What do you call a little person on the subway who keeps good rhythm?
Why did the little girl eat the firecrackers?
She wanted her to grow out in bangs!
When I was a child, air for your bike was free? While out biking with my kids one of my kids needed a little more air in his tire. We stopped at a gas station. It’s a $1.50 now! I asked the gas station attendant why it’s gone up so much.
A little pun about the habits of chocolates
Why was the Little Engine that Could able to run for so long?
Because it ran on self-esteem.
When the future queen was little, a local villager named Cumference saved her from a burning building. Now, all these years later, she is thanking him by bestowing a great honour unto him—giving him his knighthood.
Things have finally come full circle.
Here’s one from my little sister (6). Why did the girl bring toilet paper to the party.
Cause she’s a party pooper
Had to get a little punny in the comments
What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?
Why was the little boy’s report card wet?
All his grades were below C level
It's a little known fact that Shakespeare fell in love with the ocean.
He wrote "How do I love sea? Let me count the waves."
King of Arabia who is a father to 40 little kids, bought a train to bring them along to places he visited. On one of his busy work travel trip, he forgot where he parked the train.
He lost his train of tots.
"Little known fact, the Jedi didn't have a navy!" My son looked up at me and asked, "How do you know that?"
"Because sailing is a path to the dockside!"
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