Sycamore
I'm just living on borrowed thyme.
A gi-ant!
I am so proud right now!
He did nazi it coming
"Your Honor, it was a dark and stormy night.."
🎶We don’t talk about Fight Club🎶
I think I'll call it a Knight.
It's butt.
Re-tired
Its arse!
The doctor says I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that your friend is alive, the bad news is he will always be a vegetable.
We called it an ABBA-KISS.
I guess you could call this a Betty Whiteout
(that was the punch line)
>!"Dam!"!<
What did the dam say when the fish hit it?
>!"You dumb bass!"!<
Every kid I tell this to rolls!
Bar king
Someone told her to make her bed!
For their relationship to work out.
Hindi End.
I falafel about it. Hope you’re ok, Bob!
Mary turns to Joseph and says, "Write that down. It's better than Kevin."
They’re taking casts of the paw prints as we speak
It was a counter attack.
When an eel bites your hand, and that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When paternity tests, lead to ratings success, that’s a Maury.
When our habits are strange, and our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
But Canadians protest, underrepresented in jest, what’s one more, eh?
——————————-
(Repost of mine from over a year ago. Sorry. I remembered it while stoned and it was funny again. Credit to u/weizguy74 for the Maury line.)
That would be truly alarming.
Between you and me, something smells
Must have been a bumper crop.
He was Audi control
They met on line
He knocked it out of the pork!
I told him violins is not the answer.
Dead giveaway.
Stop looking I'm changing!
I've been telling my oldest boy who is 12 and my next youngest girl who is 10 dad jokes via text. Feel it's a nice little thing for dad to do. Today he got me! So proud.
...thats a moire.
Don't worry, I'm fine. But it did leave a small brews.
A fart.
Dell never know what hit him.
>!Da-brie was everywhere!<
I’m ok though it was just a soft drink.
A fowl foul.
You can thank my daughter for that one!
What a vicious cycle.
Dam
It’s butt!
Yep, that was the punch line.
