Slug that is a way to go
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeashton
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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Don't hurt a slug

Or they can charge you with a salt.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IamREBELoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What is the difference between a slug and a snail?

Snails are better shells men.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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(Me reading to my five-year-old) The leopard slug eats dead plants and fungi, but also hunts other slugs.

(Five-year-old) I'm a fun guy, so they would eat me.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legisleducator
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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When I was on Naked and Afraid, I went out gathering food. I was able to find 2 small slugs to bring back to camp...

It was slimy pickings for dinner that evening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Why did the slug call the police?

Because he was a-salted.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frustratedlemons
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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Are slugs just snails that have gone through a divorce?

β€œYep, she got the house”

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RND2KO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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What is a slugs favorite mode of transportation?

A Snailboat.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheClassicKidTV
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Slugs...

They moistly come at night... moistly.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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Weapon in the war against slugs imgur.com/qaUuucN
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dano1066
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2014
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How did we win against the war against slugs?

We used an A-SALT rifle

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_BlNG_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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A salt rifle.
πŸ‘︎ 153
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alamkh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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How do you get a snail out of its shell?

You slug it!!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KayakFlyFisher74
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight

There would be a mass confusion

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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I thought I’d try snail racing

My tactic was if I take the shells off, they’ll be lighter and quicker,

All it did was make them a bit sluggish

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amywit16
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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What do you do when you see two snails boxing?

Nothing, you gotta let β€˜em slug it out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/r00ski5
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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Sluggish (n)

What language slugs speak.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. Unfortunately, it just seems to have made him sluggish.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
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What do you call an evicted snail?

A slug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zerohero83
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What do you call a slow bullet ?

A slug

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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What happens when two snails get into a fight?

They slug it out...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caravaggio_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Hear about the mollusc farmers getting into a fight?

They got in a heated argument and then decided to slug it out. Even though they did so at a snail's pace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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If I were to throw a *Limax maximus* at someone...

...would the arresting documents say that I slugged them?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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A tip if you’re going to Santa Cruz.

Keep your eyes PEELED for banana slugs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Commits_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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A group of snails got into a really heated fight. They took their shells off and went at it.

It was a real slug fest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3Dbabble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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Proud of my baby girl

My 20 year old daughter works in a local small specialty bake shop (Gluten Free, Organic, Vegan). The owner gave her some cash and sent her to the local Sprouts for some salt. She was shoveling salt from the bin into a bag and had about 5 lbs already in the bag and was still shoveling. She noticed a mid 40's man looking at her in wonder. With out missing a beat, my baby girl says "We have one hell of a snail problem" and keeps shoveling.

I've never been more proud.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imdickie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
🚨︎ report
The adventures of Max Dad, P.I.

The sun shone into my office through the lowered blinds all clumsy like, fumbling through the gaps between the venetian slats like a drunk fishing for loose change in his pockets; trying to see if he has money enough for one last drink or maybe the bus ride home.

The dame looked me up and down, clearly disappointed by what sat in front of her. I didn’t blame her. Three days of salt and pepper stubble clung to my my crude boxer’s jaw and the bags under my eyes were so big half the bums downtown could sleep in there and not even know anyone else was with 'em. That was ok. This broad wasn’t hiring me for my looks and I wasn’t looking to her for approval. We both knew what brought her in here, it was the name on the door.

Max Dad P.I. - that’s me. Private Investigator’s sure not the profession my mother would have picked out for me, but it keeps me in whisky and it keeps a roof over my head and that’ll do for now. The dame parted those cherry red lips of hers as she took another pull on that just-lit cigarette and nervously stubbed it out in the ashtray. My eyebrows knit together slightly. I hate seeing things go to waste.

β€œSo as I was saying, Mr Dad,” she began.

β€œPlease, call me Max”

β€œAlright, Max… well, as I was saying, my bag is missing. Stolen, I think. I urgently need it back. Shall I describe it to you?”

β€œNo that’s alright miss. You got nothing to worry about,” I replied, sliding a bottle out of the desk drawer and pouring a big slug of scotch into to my morning coffee, β€œI’m sure it’ll be a brief case.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyohnny
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Can you guys lend me a ham?

I saw this Pun earlier today and it got me thinking that I want to have a pun potluck. So far I can make the punchline of u/KennyTheDownsTigr pun and some Evil Spirits for us to slug.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JancenD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2016
🚨︎ report
I got my girlfriend good. Could not have planned it better.

On a walk I turned to my girlfriend and said, "Did you know male snails are extremely territorial?"

Without missing a beat she asks,

"Really? How do they fight?"

"They slug it out! ahaahahahaha"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomanhasblindedme
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2015
🚨︎ report
My coworkers talking about a client...

Coworker: "She said she was fired because she slugged someone, but it wasn't really a slug, more like a tap."

Me: "So, she snailed someone?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WeSingVeryLoud
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
🚨︎ report
If Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, there would be mass confusion
πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
How do snails fight?

They slug it out.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/etonsla
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do when you see two snails fighting

Nothing, just let them slug it out

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_UR_HONKERS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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What do two snails do when they hate each other?

They slug it out.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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