I went to gamblers anonymous the other day.

They gave me 2-to-1 odds I wouldn’t make it.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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How did the gambler know his hand would stink?

Because he was holding the king of-hearts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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What did the gambler say when asked what his favorite numbers were?

I like those odds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deada55heada55
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Why aren't cows the best gamblers?

They always bet high STEAKS.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTP1999
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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Why are the Irish risky gamblers?

Because they’re always Dublin’ down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarriedCoin
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2018
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Why does a gambler have all the answers?

Cuz he knows

(Casinos)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFifthStep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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Why did the cautious gambler hate camping?

He didn't like staking his tent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-if-by-whiskey-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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Why didn't the gambler go to his stoner friend's barbecue?

The steaks were too high

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ronnyjohnsonssink
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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Support groups

Procrastinator's Anonymous will be canceled because all the members have put off coming to at least next week. (Credit unknown)

Jane finally decided to join Narcotics Anonymous after getting needled into coming. (Original)

I bet you 50:1 odds that Joe won't be here at Gamblers Anonymous tonight. (Original)

As Laura spoke at AA, I found her account intoxicating. (Original)

Even if I were transgender, I doubt I'd ever go to a Crossdressers Anonymous meeting. I hear those meetings are literally a drag. (Original)

At a computer users' group, a guy was complaining that his Linux-loving girlfriend refused to do Windows. (Original)

I plum need to attend a Purple Anonymous meeting. (Original)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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There was a guy who was a gambler you know...

There was a guy who was a gambler you know, he always bet on the number five, so he went to the horse races. He went on May 5, 2005, at 5:00 o'clock, he went to the fifth race, he bet on the fifth horse.

He got fifth place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mauiibarra
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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Dad got me while hunting, got him back while at the only store in the town.

My dad and I went hunting with some friends in south texas for opening teal season. As I am putting my waders on, he tell me to remember to tie my boots as tight as I can, "or else they'll fall off in the mud, and that would suck, literally". He couldn't have been more proud of himself.

Later he holds the door as I walk out of the small convince store in the town, and I naturally say "thanks". He replies with "you bet," and I told him "really? Because I'm not much of a gambler..." And he just frowned at me.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vulkkid
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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