This pun is a Cut above the rest
Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
My roommates said I really need to cut down on the amount of deli meat I’ve been eating
But I’m not about to quit cold turkey
How does the moon cut his hair?
How did the worm feel after getting cut in half?
Did you hear about the man who got his left part cut off?
Don´t worry, he´s alright now
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?
What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
I cut lumber for a living, but I keep sleeping on the job.
As you can tell, I'm a slumberjack.
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
The sexual tension is so intense it could cut through steal.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I’ll take that ban now
Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?
Because he wanted a Lo Mein
My daughter asked if she could cut the hair off of one of her barbies to make a boy barbie.
I said "You Ken if you want to."
My cat just cut the grass.
A secretary cut the elastic band used for my physiotherapy
She multitasks as a Rubber maid
I figured out the best way to cut carbs!
What did the rabbit get at the salon? A hare cut.
Hey did you here about the guy who got his left hand cut off?
Yeah I hear he's all Right.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
What do you call the ride sharing lanes that cut through the mountains?
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
My friend bet me 100$ I wouldn't be able to get the prime cuts of meat from the top shelf.
Cut the potatoes into penis shapes and fill your boat with them. Now you are the captain of a ...
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, “NO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”
How do you cut the ocean in half?... you use a sea saw
How does the moon cut his hair?
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
How does the moon cut its hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
hey did you hear about the guy who cut off the left half of his body??
How does the moon cut its hair?
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?
Got the left side of my body cut off.
Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
Oh, he’s all right now...
How does the moon cut his hair?
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?
It's ok, he's all right now.
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?
It's ok, he's all right now.
How does the moon cut his hair?
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