This pun is a Cut above the rest
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
Last night I dreamt I was in a swordfight with a knight, and he cut off the bottom part of my legs.
A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
A guy I don’t know wants to cut down the trees in my backyard
I told him ‘I woodn’t do that if I were you’
My roommates said I really need to cut down on the amount of deli meat I’ve been eating
But I’m not about to quit cold turkey
How does the moon cut his hair?
How did the worm feel after getting cut in half?
Did you hear about the man who got his left part cut off?
Don´t worry, he´s alright now
What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off?
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
Had the wife stop the movie to watch a quick clip. After she sat down I told her" You could cut the dogs feet off".
She said "I don't understand.....".
I said " UN-PAUSE".
I had to explain it to her...
I cut lumber for a living, but I keep sleeping on the job.
As you can tell, I'm a slumberjack.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I’ll take that ban now
The sexual tension is so intense it could cut through steal.
Why did the lion get his hair cut on his way to the Chinese restaurant?
Because he wanted a Lo Mein
My daughter asked if she could cut the hair off of one of her barbies to make a boy barbie.
I said "You Ken if you want to."
My cat just cut the grass.
What did the rabbit get at the salon? A hare cut.
A secretary cut the elastic band used for my physiotherapy
She multitasks as a Rubber maid
I figured out the best way to cut carbs!
Hey did you here about the guy who got his left hand cut off?
Yeah I hear he's all Right.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
What do you call the ride sharing lanes that cut through the mountains?
A lumberjack went in to a magic forest to cut a tree. Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree, when it shouted, “Wait! I’m a talking tree!"
The lumberjack grinned and said: “And you will dialogue.”
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
My friend bet me 100$ I wouldn't be able to get the prime cuts of meat from the top shelf.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left half was cut off?
did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off?
How does the moon cut his hair?
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?
How does the moon cut its hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
hey did you hear about the guy who cut off the left half of his body??
Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?
How does the moon cut its hair?
Got the left side of my body cut off.
Did you hear about the guy who had his left side cut off?
Oh, he’s all right now...
How does the moon cut his hair?
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?
It's ok, he's all right now.
Did you hear about the guy that got his left side cut off?
It's ok, he's all right now.
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