The Carpenters Puns

A list of puns related to "The Carpenters"

Did you hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up the hammer and saw.

(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)

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👤︎ u/SimplisticAnswer
📅︎ Dec 06 2020
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What did the carpenter do after he wasn't satisfied with his One Night Stand?

He built another one.

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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Nov 23 2020
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What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?

I was FRAMED!

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👤︎ u/SuperMcG
📅︎ Oct 31 2020
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What is the cannibal carpenter’s favorite measurement?

8 feet

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👤︎ u/SholcCTR
📅︎ Oct 24 2020
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Why couldn’t the carpenter and the lumberjack get along

They saw things differently

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👤︎ u/greatreference
📅︎ Mar 21 2020
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Jesus was known to be a carpenter, but I've always gotten the feeling that he would make a great attorney.

He was quite the cross-examiner.

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👤︎ u/law_daddy_esq
📅︎ Jun 25 2020
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What did the Mexican carpenter have for lunch?

Carne asawdust

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👤︎ u/Bigscarydaniel
📅︎ Apr 09 2020
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How did the quarantined, unemployed carpenter pay his quarantined, unemployed staff after construction work came to a grinding halt?

In doors.

#StayHome

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👤︎ u/popedotninja
📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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What is it called when a bunch of carpenters and masons on the cruise?

Craftmanship

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👤︎ u/SkyStar1991
📅︎ Sep 28 2019
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What does the carpenter tell his wife before going to bed?

you know the drill

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👤︎ u/dubaidadjokes
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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Did you hear about the carpenter who murdered someone at work?

They say he hit the nail on the head

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👤︎ u/ChiWod10
📅︎ Nov 18 2019
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What did the depressed carpenter say?

I really hate my shelf.

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👤︎ u/Chuck_Finnley
📅︎ Apr 11 2019
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Did you see those carpenters at the party last night?

They really knew how to raise the roof.

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👤︎ u/rhapsodygreen
📅︎ Jul 27 2019
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Who was the worlds first carpenter?

Eve, because she made Adams banana stand.

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose
📅︎ Mar 29 2019
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My old job at the carpenters

I was working for a carpenter as work experience. He just got me to move planks from one pile to another

and woodn't you know it but I got pt having enough pretty board of not having actual qualitree experience.

I ended up getting so frustrated that I insulted him till I ran out of insults and was stumped. That's the story of how I decided to leaf being a builder behind me and branch out into new careers.

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👤︎ u/Ruminino
📅︎ Jun 17 2019
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I hired a carpenter, but she'll only work on the walls, ceiling joists, doorframes, and windows.

Apparently floors are beneath her.

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👤︎ u/nemo_sum
📅︎ Feb 24 2017
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I see said the blind carpenter

As he reached for his hammer and saw.

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👤︎ u/welderjoe83
📅︎ May 31 2018
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Why couldn’t the carpenter walk properly today?

Because he felt a lot of pain in his nails.

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👤︎ u/Pdonkey
📅︎ Jan 07 2019
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Did you hear about the carpenter who broke his wooden cross?

Don't worry.

He crucifixed it.

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👤︎ u/vaxis2113
📅︎ Sep 30 2018
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A carpenter had dejavú of walking into the same bar over and over...

It was all the rebar.

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👤︎ u/buckeyespud
📅︎ Sep 01 2018
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The man who was not a carpenter once said:

"I made my bed. I will lie in it."

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👤︎ u/joncmellentape
📅︎ Jan 14 2017
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Why was the Carpenter depressed?

He lost his coping saw.

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👤︎ u/relayrider
📅︎ Aug 21 2016
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"I see..." Said the blind carpenter,

as he picked up his hammer and saw.

My dad used to make this joke all the time and it took me years to get it... Drove me insane.

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👤︎ u/Giacomo_iron_chef
📅︎ Jan 22 2015
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"I see" said the blind carpenter, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

These go on for days all based on similar puns

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👤︎ u/TheGeorge
📅︎ Feb 19 2014
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Did you guys hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up a hammer and saw

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👤︎ u/cerebolic-parabellum
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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Have you ever heard the story of the blind carpenter?

He picked up his hammer and saw.

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👤︎ u/jccdd
📅︎ Jan 11 2019
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Did you hear about the blind carpenter?

He picked up the hammer and saw

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👤︎ u/Capt-Redbeard
📅︎ Dec 06 2016
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