I found a terrific online course for cooking Chinese food.

It’s called β€˜Wok This Way.’

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I am terrifed of elevators

So I am going to start taking steps to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/darksider201cz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I've just bought a terrific new car, its a Rolls Canardly

it rolls down one side of the hill, can 'ardly get up the other

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simian_fold
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Bought a terrific book about contradictions.

I wouldn't recommend it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Terrific
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/layover_guy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
πŸ‘︎ 31k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daugarten
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Fruit romance

Honey dew you love me?

I love you berry much

I think we are a good pear.

Ohh berry sweet! Grape puns!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/daunfifi123c456b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A brain aneurysm would be swell.

And brain aneurysm is a ruptured blood vessel. It sweeps up and bursts. So, it would be swell, as in a swelling. And it would be swell as in terrific & welcomed.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lapret
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Getting kids ready for school in the morning.

Wife: Will you please put your daughters clothes on?

Me: I tried. they don't fit me!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PivotalPixel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2014
🚨︎ report
There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy...

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.

The king knows this and he knows that only a small portion of his populace can ever hope to become one of the respected elite, let alone hold one of their masterpieces in their own hands. Being a very just and fair man, the king ordered the most senior watchmaker in the land to create something the likes of which had never been seen. A watch of such great craftsmanship so as to be above monetary value. The man labored long and hard for many nights to produce the king's watch. When he at last presented the completed work to his lord - in front of the entire nation, no less - he was met with thunderous applause and a warm embrace. He had done it! The king then made a shocking announcement.

"This masterpiece belongs to my people!"

When the roaring of the crowd died down he continued.

"This watch shall be a symbol of my love for all of you. Though I rule over you with supreme authority I do not wish a single one of you to feel that you do not have a voice in the ruling of this nation. From this day on let anyone who doubts my decisions or questions my judgment wear this watch and stand as my equal to voice their concerns. Should even a single one of you think me unfair or wrong in any matter then simply come to my castle and I will present you this token of good faith."

The king made good on his word and from that day on all citizens knew they held the right to challenge their king's rulings. Over time the watch became a symbol of fairness throughout the land. Anyone who wore it

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 86
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I made one of those motivational posters

https://i.imgur.com/n9VMH93.png

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/istrebitjel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Went to a football game with my friend Richard.

There was this guy on the pitch with a beanie on his head. He scored the first goal, a header.

"Great goal," I said.

"Yes," said my friend. "A great goal."

Another opportunity arose ten minutes later, and the same player jumped up, and scored another header. A terrific one.

"Wow, that was unstoppable," I told my friend.

"Yes, unbelievable. Unstoppable," he replied.

Towards the end of the game, the same player leapt up, scored another incredible header.

I turned to my friend, flabbergasted and said, "I think that thing on his head, it's giving him some sort of advantage. This entire game he hasn't missed a single header."

"What about it?" asked my friend.

I said. "He's got a hat, Rick."

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.