I showed up over dressed to a family member's party and my aunt spilled sweet tea all over my dress shirt. She solved my clothing problem

Aunt Jay: I'm so sorry I ruined your nice shirt!

Me: You didn't ruin it, you turned it into a tea-shirt for me!

👍︎ 18
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👤︎ u/HeroHurtya
📅︎ Feb 12 2014
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I was on a roll last night.

My family was having a burger night and I improvised some groaners:

Q - How does it sound when your cousin drives an ambulance?
A - Neeeenaaaaa-neeeeenaaaaa! (There is a cousin called Nina)
Q - How do you know when your cousin is coming to visit?
A - they ring the Issa-belle! (Yip, you guessed it there is a cousin called Issabelle)

Q - What does a dinosaur say to offer you a hot drink?
A - Would you like some tea, Rex? (Hate to over explain and ruin the joke but just in case - Rex )

Then during bathtime:

Q - When a crab goes to jail where do they lock him up?
A - A jail shell. (there was a decorative jar of shells there which I used as a muse for this piece)

Q - How does a daddy cow clean himself at night?
A - In a bub-bull bath. (Just came to me)

Q - What does an astronaut use in the bath?
A - A space cloth. (this one didn't really land but I stand by it)

Q - What do you use to wash your hair in the toilet?
A - Sham-poo (low hanging fruit but this one absolutely killed)

👍︎ 16
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👤︎ u/dat_asthma
📅︎ Oct 13 2019
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