Taxis Puns

I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.

Cabbage.

He always goes the extra mile

But she refused to give me one.

Where wolf!?

He was tired of people talking behind his back.

The driver said “I love my job, no one tells me what to do”

I said “Turn left.”

Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.

I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners!

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

A corn on the cab!

Dad: OK......Sorry Taxi, was there something else?

"Driver, hurry!" I implored. "Her contractions are getting closer together!"

He makes a cabinet.

"What was that for?" I asked, shocked.

To which he replied, "Hey, that's what I do best. I drive people away."

"How many of you are there?" he asked.

I said, "I'm the only version of me."

It was hailing cabs.

I guess I drove him out of business...

He didn't pick up

ScrewDriver

Guber

I just need to download the drivers.

I bet the driver's livid that he doesn't have a car any more.

He sighed and said, "I'm not falling for that one."

I said, "Trust me, it is."

He let me in and five minutes later I heard him honking on the horn, so I looked out the window.

He said, "Stop messing around, will you? Your wallet. You must have found it by now."

I said, "No, I haven't got it."

"Well, why the hell not?"

I said, "This isn't my house."

Police said he was intaxicated

A concerned passerby stopped and asked him why he was throwing ice at taxis.

The man replied, "I'm hailing a cab."

Screwdriver.

His funeral will be held on the next road on the left.

• "you are a taxi.."

A man walks out of his work building and hails a taxi. He gets into the taxi and says, "Take me to the sandwich shop up on 45^th street." Ten minutes later they arrive, and the cab driver checks the console. "That'll be $12.00." The man is shocked. "This route used to be only $6.00! What happened?" The taxi driver explains. "Well, construction was blocking the usual route, so I had to double back and take a longer route." The man considers this, then shrugs.

"I guess that's fare."

The driver said, "If you are sick on one of my seats I will charge you £50."

Thankfully I was sick on three of them.

I thought it was a nice jester

the driver asks: "where wolf?"

Then I said, "Turn left here!"

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

Where, wolf?

*Auuuu*

He was tired of people talking behind his back

You're a taxi.

Where, wolf?

"Ok, you're a taxi"

My dad literally just did this

"You're a taxi."