Everyone laughed when they saw the way my barber styled me...

But I liked my new hardehardo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Elvis Presley wrote a song about where he styled his hair.

Gelhouse Rock.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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How do you greet a painted, Asian styled statuette of a sea monster?

"What's crackalackin', you lacquered Kraken?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
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I thought you guys might like this. I complete list of "Poke her? I barely know her!" style puns I made arthur-johnston.com/stati…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/johannesOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2011
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What style of music ocean creatures like the most?

Aquapella

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurtkopain
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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My friend only does crimes that are in style...

Arson is so hot right now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/7bladesofgrass
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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How can you be sure you want to buy a particular style of stool?

Ask for a stool sample!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lovina9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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My style of painting is rather curious

so I asked the model to pose me a question.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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What's Weird Al Yankovic's favorite style of breasts?

Pair-o' Ds

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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What’s a radical leftist’s favorite style of font?

Sans Sheriff!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trommy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Pretty stoked it's the weekend! Gonna relax and get drunk hans style...

Solo

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/postymcpostface21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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What's the most inappropriate shaolin animal kung fu style?

Dogstyle

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afilipinoweeb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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What do you get when you combine an awful hair style and a singer?

A Perry Comover

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkeye18
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)

Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/filipinochewy97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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What’s a non-meat eaters preferred fighting style?

Tofu

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingersnap5322
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Where did Harry Styles go to school?

Watermelon Sugar High

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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My friends won't let me play football with them after I suffered a charley-horse

They said I cramp their style

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dvd86er
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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What kind of hair style does a bee get?

A buzz cut

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spikeratchet
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I hired the Rolling Stone dercorators to style my room. They did a terrible job.

They just painted it black. I couldn't get no satisfaction with it.

My vision was light blue walls but I guess I always can't get what I want.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Poooosh...
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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For my English final, I had to compose a lyric poem marked by exaltation of feeling and style, varying length of line, and complexity of stanza forms.

"Ode no!" I thought.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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If you hear something, say something

I originally posted this in r/MaliciousCompliance, but several commenters thought it would be good here as well. I hope this isn't a re-run for too many of you.

This was years ago when my son was starting middle school. I was transporting him and a group of his new friends. One of the friends was French, and spoke French at home. My son mentioned that I had taken French in high school, and so one of his friends asked me to say something in French and see if French girl could understand me.

Before I go on, a note on parenting style: we joke around with our kids all the time. I know that not all parents joke with their children; some of my kids' friends enjoyed to a dad who makes a joke, and some would look at me like I grew a second head.

So I said to the French girl, Β«quelque choseΒ». Immediately the friends turned to French girl and asked "What did he say?"

I waited, wondering whether she would join my joke.

A sly smile crept across her face as she said, "he said...something". The rest of the trip, the friends tried to convince her to reveal what it was that I had said. Β«quelque choseΒ» is the French phrase for "something".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mermaldad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I got a new style of haircut recently,

after debating whether or not to keep it, I realised that my hair was growing on me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/byzantinopher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?

Mutton chops.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wodaji
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
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Sex is a sin

Sex is a sin unless it’s doggy style cause all dogs go to heaven. Woof woof

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cadaverkitten94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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A Jamaican man has stormed into my hairdressers and demanded I give him a new style

I'm dreading it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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See what they did there
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NicholasP993
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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Big wheelie style
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarealist1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Percolating a new style for my pun stickers. Thoughts?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turboboob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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New Style of Burgular

Q: Why did the burglar take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway

Boom Boom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lostatsea12a
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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What's a sheep's favorite art style?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElvisDumbledore
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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A Buddhist monk leave the monastery...

Dissatisfied with the style of life that he found there, The Monk decides to move into a suburban neighborhood and start up his own line of work. Being trained in the peaceful ways he gets on very well with his neighbours who eventually notice that he has a very strange profession. Despite being very strong and very philosophical The Monk elects to repeatedly visit places with broken fences and remove and replace them.

One day has neighbour approaches him and asks, "with the physical strength and mental capacity that you seem to have, are you not interested in a more physically or mentally challenging job?"

To which The Monk replies, "but everybody knows reposting gives you the most karma."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiamondChocobos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Doggie style is a position

I can get behind

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Artiquecircle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Tinder style
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShakinBacon64
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
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Punning with style
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puddStar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
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The Letdown

A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his β€œpromposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!

Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.

The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.

They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?

He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.

He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?

There was no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsBunnyPants26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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I’m currently in Montreal, Canada and just found this place across the street. I wonder if they serve Russian style poutines?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anniemay_13
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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The way I see it, if you're going to make a pun, why not do it with some style?

https://preview.redd.it/c7zshy8qj7i21.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=6804378ed9c03928cb67594e38ff3a457089f4ac

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/damonridesbikes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Hospital Visit

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said.

Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you think 70's dance moves will ever come back into style?

Well...I know The Sprinkler will always come back around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegoodsock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.

I guess you could call it my minstrel period.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BingSerious
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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NWAR - A pun-filled "Airplane!"-style detective series youtube.com/watch?v=DCc86…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danmarkowitz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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I was thinking about opening up a French baguette style fast food shop.

I think I’ll call it Pain D’Express.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dipodomys_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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My 2.5 year old told his first dad joke.

While traveling to a cookout at my dads house, my wife (W) was working through the alphabet with my son (s)

Letter β€œI”: W: β€œ I is for..... iguana” S: β€œiguana.... iguana go outside.” W: looks at me. I look at him. S: (in his best dad style, cheesy laugh) β€œha, ha.”

He had no idea what he said. But gosh we got a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imahntr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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