Spiked Puns

I thought “wow, that’s pretty metal.”

I guess with great power comes great responsibility.

I spent a busy week working and was aching all over. During that week, a friend of mine had managed to slip some laxatives into my diet. After a few days of rest, another friend asked how I was feeling. I replied, "I'm not aching as much now, just my arse really. I've had a lot of crap to deal with". This friend knew of the laxatives and groaned audibly.

It’s not a pointless relationship

Because resistance is futile

I think she spiked my hair

My hair has been spiked

Training.

Higher ranking members of the Bloods held 9% of the coins that had been mined up to 2014. They suddenly and abruptly destroyed the wallets that contained the bitcoins in late 2014.

It wasn’t discovered until 2017 when a former member spoke to the press when the prices spiked. When asked the reason for destroying the fortune he said “cause it’s a Crip-tocurrency”

You drown them in the mainstream.

Bartender: We don’t serve your kind here Rope: walks out and ties himself up and spikes it’s hair Bartender: Aren’t you the guy I just told to get out? Rope: I’m a frayed knot...

Because he could really spike the ball!

A boy cactus has one spike more.

Edit: Fixed wording

It always spikes up whenever I pass a white van.

The two were ice fishing, and the wind had blown away some patches that became really slippery, and the two of them weren't wearing any boot spikes. Dad slips and falls right on his chin, seeing stars and nearly passed out. tries to get up but can't, just lays face down on the ice for a bit to get his bearings.

Friend: Hey Bill you alright?

Dad: Yeah I'm fine, I got ice on it.

apparently the friend laughed so hard he slipped and fell on the ice as well

I don't know, I have never kipled.

My dads favorite joke

Because he always ends up Spiking the punch

Just found this subreddit and, being a dad, I figured I needed to share some material...

I'm checking out at the home improvement store, my wife standing next to me as the bubble-headed cashier rings me up. She gets to a bag of six inch galvanized spikes that I was buying for an outdoor project. Trying to look up the price in her book, our ditzy cashier holds one up and says, "Is this nine inches?" I smile and turn to my wife saying, "Her boyfriend must love her. He's got her convinced that that's nice inches..."

At that point my wife slapped me saying, "You're disgusting!" and our little airhead just stood there and had no idea why.