They crash and Poop falls out. Shutup runs to the nearby police station asking for help. A policeman asks “What’s your name?” “Shutup” “Excuse me? Where are your manners?” the policeman replies “Out on the road scraping up Poop!”
Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting
The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver “pull over”
“No!” yelled the woman “it’s a cardigan”
I guess he was driving uber fast
I replied “actually it cost me about $80”
The cop says "Why weren't you braking back there?"
And the man replies "I'm wearing clean underwear."
The cop says "Why is that relevant?"
And the man says "Well, I don't wanna get any skidmarks."
Raise your right foot!
He was charged with a moosedemeanor
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Because they are above the law.
"Fine"
Cop: Stop playing the race card.
Driver: EXcuse me!? I hardly think that is an appropriate question to ask!
Cop: Well you sure were Russian back there
Man you really make that Van Gogh!
He was going to fast
I thought, "How irresponsible can you be? Almost making me drop my beer."
The officer asks “Occupation?” The man replies “no just visiting”
The officer asks “Are you sure you know where you’re going?”
Drac: “O, positive!”
Naturally I got pulled over. When the officer asked me "Do you know why I stopped you today?" I replied....
"Because I was hauling ass?"
"I didn’t get pulled over or anything, it's just that I got to work 20 minutes early."
Coworker: "Nah, how you gonna prove it?"
Me: "Easy, I have it here on tape!"
He understood he had pressing matters.
He was hauling gas.
She was charged with wreckless driving.
I told him "because it makes everything fine again."
So I went Black Friday shopping this morning and on my drive back home I got pulled over. I called my dad to break the news to him.
Dad: Did you get any great deals out there? Me: Not really. In fact, it was really expensive. I just got a $145 ticket for speeding. Dad: Wow. I've never heard of anything like that. That doesn't sound like a good deal to me. Me: I know. Talk about an expensive mistake. Dad: No, I've never heard of the band "speeding" and there is no way they are good enough for me to pay $145 dollars to see them. Hahahahaha
Dad humor is 1000x's better than yelling.
because it's going by way too fast.
"He's not gonna sell much ice cream going at that speed"
Mom: You don't need to fly through here, honey. Dad: We're still on the ground.
