πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomBudgie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2013
🚨︎ report
I know a handful of jokes in sign language.

I guarantee no one has ever heard them!

πŸ‘︎ 382
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superpie5
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign that said falling rocks...

so I tried, and it doesn't.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/logicson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Santa put a "Help Wanted" sign outside of the elves workshop?

He was short staffed

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHibernian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign in the pub "The Chef's Special"

I thought that's nice, equal opportunities employer.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
🚨︎ report
A sign from God
πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brandondsantos
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
The first letter of the sign of a derelict hotel fell off and killed a man.

He died of old H.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notBjoern
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the sign of a really dedicated hot dog eating contestant?

They relish the competition.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jester57
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Every Zodiac sign has it’s own significant hairstyle

except Cancer

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Echo_The_God
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign today that made me piss myself.....It said,

'TOILETS CLOSED. '

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Anton LaVey tried to sign with a NBA team

But he was told he doesn't have a shot in hell.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What is your Sign?

My mother always told me I was cancer.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wafran
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
One day all mathematical signs gathered together in order to go into an adventure. Right before they were leaving, they didn't let the equal sign go with them.

They wanted to live an adventure without equal

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."

My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."

True story.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObiWanKaDaddy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
🚨︎ report
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.

Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
As I drive, I often see signs that say: "Falling Rocks"

Yeah, that's a LIE. Sometimes I even have a hard time getting up afterwards.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a donut's astrological sign?

Torus

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chirstain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
It's a sign.
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/modern-anarchy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."

"No Shit."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShawntheShiba
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Me: reading the β€œNo Fences” sign next to the road

My wife: none taken

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epelep
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?

All of them.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My coworker : My Zodiac sign is Libra ; I want everyone to get along.

Me : I'm a Cancer ; While nobody wants me, I still grow on them.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theabobination
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.

She wants you to be more Roman-tic.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently decided to learn sign language...

So that I can tell jokes nobody has ever heard.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sgt-Cowboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Our local Five Guys lost some letters on their sign.

With the F and E out, I guess someone quit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirFister13F
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions

I C Y

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bawkalor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Sign me up!
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/9pm_official
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I saw a group of trees sign a paper

It was a peace β€œtree”ty.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THISISWARDUDE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy

Polyurethane?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vantoch81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"

I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pLeThOrAx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What does the closed sign on a brothel say?

Beat it -- we're closed!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snailhighway
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
A sign at a Nursery...
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PirateboarderLife
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....

It said bear left, so we went home.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesomesox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to have an addiction stealing road signs

But then I kept on getting signs telling me to stop

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigg_UN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss wants me to sign up for a 401K...

I’m not sure how he expects anyone to run that far!!!

πŸ‘︎ 141
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rgapinski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.

Remains to be seen

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.

They’re a big fan of gross domestic products.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/girloffthecob
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone left a sign encouraging cleanliness in my workplace tearoom. It just said "THINK!"

I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was in florida I saw signs saying "animal sanctuary 5$." so I decided to follow them but when I got there it was just a middle aged couple with hundreds of house cats and one dog in a cage.

It was a Shih Tzu

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HairyClefairy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to the grocery store and the sign said no food or drinks inside.

So I went back home

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubNTugInc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Everyone should learn sign language.

It's very handy.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kremata
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I know several jokes in sign language

I guarantee you,no one has ever heard them before.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?

All of them.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Someone left a sign encouraging cleanliness in my workplace tearoom. It just said "THINK!"

I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language

And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.

πŸ‘︎ 276
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I know several jokes in sign language...

I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report

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