I love signing documents
I guess you could say it’s my signature move.
My dad died on 02/19/18, this joke came to me while signing paperwork at the funeral home...
What do they call the best salesman at a funeral home?
The Top Urner
My wife keeps yelling at me to stop signing "I'm a believer". I thought she must be joking...
So my daughter is signing up for band.
"I want to play the clarinet very badly!"
"Why not pay attention so you can play well?"
glares
My Dad on Bob Marley's grandson signing with the Redskins
Of course he is going to get a roster spot. He is already a Rasta
Signing the Census form
The latest Census form (In OZ) asks for a signature.
Me: It doesn't say who is to sign. Should it be the first person on the Census? The second person? Even your dog could sign it.
Dad: Well, that would be a poor signature!
Took my daughter swimming and there was a group of deaf people signing to each other on the pool.
My daughter was quite curious/interested in their use of sign language and was staring. I redirected her and told her it was not polite to stare.
She asked me "but why can't I watch"?
I replied:
"Because they might hear you"
Just signed up for my company’s 401k!
I’m kinda nervous though...I’ve never ran that far before.
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"
I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.
I recently decided to learn sign language...
So that I can tell jokes nobody has ever heard.
What does the closed sign on a brothel say?
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.
When I was in florida I saw signs saying "animal sanctuary 5$." so I decided to follow them but when I got there it was just a middle aged couple with hundreds of house cats and one dog in a cage.
I went to the grocery store and the sign said no food or drinks inside.
I used to have an addiction stealing road signs
But then I kept on getting signs telling me to stop
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....
It said bear left, so we went home.
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?
Someone left a sign encouraging cleanliness in my workplace tearoom. It just said "THINK!"
I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
I understand sign language
An octagon means stop, the triangle means slow down...
My boss wants me to sign up for a 401K...
I’m not sure how he expects anyone to run that far!!!
If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.
They’re a big fan of gross domestic products.
Everyone should learn sign language.
There is a sign outside my local library that says 'Watch for Cars'
My company keeps asking me to sign up for a 401k.
There's no way I could run that far.
I was driving down the interstate when I came across a sign for the world's largest pickle...
I turned at the next exit and found that there was a whole town around it.
Shops, restaurants, even churches devoted to this pickle.
When I finally found the museum holding this legendary pickle, I discovered it was closed.
Dismayed, I went back to the interstate.
I just never saw what the big dill was.
I would never be into zodiac signs
Sign at NASA Cafeteria:. We are go for Lunch
I just thought of this today as I was driving... I’m sorry in advance 😂 I saw this sign the other day, and it had rounded edges
It was kinda pointless...
My wife got mad after I tried to convince her that she'd agreed to let me buy a neon sign.
I guess she doesn't like gas lighting.
My street sign from a previous address:
My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!
I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!
Why did all the gym members sign the bike?
Because it was stationary.
I’m currently learning sign language.
I want to tell jokes that people have never heard!
(Sorry if this joke has been done, just heard it for the first time from a coworker and wanted to share.)
Today I came across a note on my table signed by someone called Cayman-
I was pretty sure that he Cayman left
If you’re seeing this, it’s a sign
Why did Sean Connery sign up for the men's grooming prescription service?
They had such great shavings.
Edit: Title should be subscription, wtf autocorrect
Most people told me learning sign language was a waste of time
But I find it to be a pretty handy skill
Someone left a sign encouraging cleanliness in my workplace tearoom. It just said "THINK!"
I thought this was so great that I made matching labels for the Tapth and the Thoap.
I know several jokes in sign language...
I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
I know several jokes in sign language
I guarantee you,no one has ever heard them before.
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language
And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.
I recently learned sign language
Now I'll tell jokes that nobody has ever heard
I know a lot of jokes in sign language...
And I can guarantee that no one has ever heard them.
I know several jokes in sign language
I guarantee no one has ever heard them before
I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language
And I can guarantee you no one has ever heard them.
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