Scowling Puns

Wheres the pi?

Guess he failed his degree in Civil Engineering.

After filling her own glass, I responded, "Pour (emphasizing this word) favor!" She scowled then slightly laughed.

Dad: “I can make ‘I don’t know.’ I don’t know how to make it though.”

(From this morning. Kid is still scowling at me for this one.)

sits down and says, "I'd like to order one beer please." The bartender says with a scowl, "We don't serve...strings round here." Frustrated, and thirsty, the string exits the bar. He thinks hard, and decides to tie himself into a knot, and rustles his top, and walks back into the bar and sits down. "I'd like one beer please." Bartender says, "Hey...aren't you that string that was in here a while ago?' The string smiles and says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

My mom says something, and my dad corrects her.

Mom, scowling: Your dad has been correcting me all day!

Dad: That's not true, I only got home at 6.

Classic dad.

I'm not usually one for bars, but since the smoking ban in Illinois, they're not so bad. I'm not much of a drinker either, but this one place in particular offers free soft drinks for designated drivers of groups of three or more. You have to get them from a location separate from the bartender. You declare yourself upon entering the place, then your hand is marked, and from that point, you're not allowed alcohol, but you get the free soft drinks.

Their specialty is their own brand of a mixed fruit drink that's really good. It's popular enough that you're usually standing behind six or seven people to wait your turn. So, Saturday night, while I'm waiting for mine, this cute blonde walks up behind me. I figured I'd try to be witty and asked her, "Can I buy you a drink?"

She scowled at me with, "Well aren't you the funny one?"

"What's with the attitude?" I asked her.

"Sorry," she said. "It's them." And she thumbed toward a table with (would you believe it?) a brunette and a redhead.

"Why?" I asked. "What'd they do?"

"I'm just getting sick of it," she said. "Every time we come here, it's always me in the punch line."

I was demonstrating for a physics lab today and we were doing an electricity experiment, building circuits and measuring voltage and current with various configurations of resistors.

One pair asked me to look at their results so I picked up the paper and started to shake my head with a scowl on my face.

Girl: What is it? What's wrong?

Me: It's these results.... they're shocking...

After a second of being genuinely worried, they realised I was laughing and looked at me angrily.

Guy: That was terrible.

Me: Sorry, I just couldn't resist.

Cue Groans

My gf and I occasionally enjoy a cheeky Disney movie.

Tonight I asked 'which Disney Princess do you think gets the best reception? '

Scowl

Me 'Arial'

Nothing but rolled eyes and breathing through the nose chuckles

We were editing our report for a school project when my buddy tells me he can't spell today. Without missing a beat I reply, "It's easy: t-o-d-a-y." His scowl was priceless.

Me: This movie is intense!

Husband: No, it's in tanks.

Me: scowls

Me: (looks up) Wow! There's not a single cloud in the sky!

Daughter: (looks up) What are you talking about?

Me: There's not.

Daughter: Dad, there are like... (gets it) Daughter: (scowls)