The other day I was driving by a prison and an unusually small person was scaling down the wall. I looked up at him confused as he sneered back at me.

And I thought to myself, well that’s a little condescending.

sorry it’s a repost of myself. My original post got removed for hate speech and harassment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZealousidealRise7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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A little person broke out of jail and sneered at a man walking by as he was climbing down the jail fence

the man frowned and thought "well that's a little con descending."

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBryceIsRight34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2016
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There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me.

I thought, well that's a little condescending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiner_bock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
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The prisoner sneered at the guards as he escaped over the prison wall...

He gave them a con descending look.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/muneuf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me and I thought, "Well, that's a little condescending."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrSkyentist
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall.

As he turned and sneered at me, I thought, "that's a little condescending."

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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As I was driving past the prison...

I noticed a midget in prison clothes climbing down the outside of the fence. And as he looked down at me and sneered, I thought, "That's a little con descending."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrBELDING69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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Landed this on the 'Genius' in the Apple store...

Took my iMac in because the hard disc failed. The machine is 6 yrs old so I was made to feel embarrassed coz it was 'vintage and obsolete, Apple don't carry parts and can't help'. I was becoming a bit pissed off at the attitude I was getting then more pissed off when Mr Genius started to tell me to buy some suction pads that glaziers use to carry sheets of glass around, pull out the screen, undo 18 screws etc etc to change the disc myself. That's when I hit him with...

"Glaziers' suction pads? I thought they were only compatible with windows"

He didn't even flinch. Just completely ignored it and carried on sneering at me for having the audacity to be using an old machine. I left feeling like a piece of shit with only pride in my joke keeping me going.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ‘€︎ u/smithmf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2016
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So I’m sitting at a bar...

And two obese women walk in, talking in an interesting accent.

I was intrigued so I turned around and asked them, β€œAre you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of the women sneered at me, β€œWales, you dolt!”

So I corrected myself, β€œOh, are you two whales from Ireland?”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/PedsRNforreal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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There was a disturbance at the local prison last night, and I saw a midget escaping...

As he was climbing over the wall, he sneered at me before dropping to the floor. I thought to myself "Well that's a little condescending".

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ‘€︎ u/vidoardes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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Studying for my MCAT when I came across this passage in Verbal.

I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]

Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, β€œA pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.

Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, β€œIt is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: β€œA pun is the lowest form of humorβ€”when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob Davies have responded to Dennis with hot, cross puns: β€œ...If someone complains that punning is the lowest form of humor you can tell them that poetry is verse.”

Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth century self-appointed custodian of the English language, once thundered, β€œTo trifle with the vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the national till without remorse... ”

Joseph Addison pronounced that the seeds of punning are in the minds of all men, and tho’ they may be subdued by reason, reflection, and good sense, they will be very apt to shoot up in the greatest genius, that which is not broken and cultivated by the rules of art.

Far from being invertebrate, the inveterate punster is a brave entertainer. He or she loves to create a three-ring circus of words: words clowning, words teetering on tightropes, words swinging from tent tops, words thrusting their head into the mouths of lions. Punnery can be highly entertaining, but it is always a risky business. The humor can fall on its face, it can lose its balance and plunge into the sawdust, or it can be decapitated by the snapping shut of jaws. While circus performers often receive laughter or applause for their efforts, punsters often draw an obligatory groan for theirs. But the fact that most people groan at, rather than laugh at, puns doesn’t mean that the punnery isn’t fu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/zil2mz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2014
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I was a bartender for a night . . .

I said to my 13 year old. He's at that age when he is starting to think he knows everything because he knows why salt makes ice melt.

He knows I'm a teetotaler.

"What do you know about making drinks?" he says sneeringly.

"I know how to make some drinks."

"Like what?"

"I know how to make rum and coke. I know how to make gin and tonic. I know how to make Shirley Temples."

There is a snort there.

"I know how to make vodka cranberries. I know how to make margaritas. I know how to make red wine."

He finishes the fries he is eating at the counter island in the kitchen and starts to head out of the room.

"Do you know how to make a red wine?" I call after him.

He turns around and looks at me, still chewing.


"Tell them about 1991."


"That is when the Soviet Union fell, all the reds were whining."

True story.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2016
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My dad's top 3 weird quotes/jokes
  1. Anytime anything rattles he says "that sounds like 2 skeletons making love in a biscuit tin."
  2. Any beeping, anywhere, ever, he grabs his chest and says "is that my pacemaker?"
  3. And the most awkward (he regularly says this) "I believe in sex, drugs and rock and roll... well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad." Then he sneers. Smugly. Every. Time.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IanWoansBatCave
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2013
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I was driving by a prison..

and I saw a midget climbing down the wall to escape.

When he reached the bottom he sneered at me and I thought, β€œThat’s a little condescending.”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/notwutiwantd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
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