Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
A German tourist jumped off to the freezing water to save my precious dog who was drowning.
After he climbed out he said, "Here is ze dog, dry him off and he vill be fine."
I said, "Are you a vet?"
To which he replied, annoyed; "Vet? I'm fucking zoaking."
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Why didn't the life guard save the hippy from drowning?
Because he was too far out man.
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
a wise man once said "thick thighs saves lives"
https://preview.redd.it/m5ilmigjv4v51.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce48ec5cbcddbacbbaf121aed97c0585e6467cda
How do we save the bees?
We ask all the “straight A” students to back off... just a little.
I felt like a hero when I donated that kindey to save a kid's life
Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not
credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit
She get her hand dirty to save us all !!
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?
He was too faarrr out, man!
I thought that taking the shell off of my racing snail would save weight and make it more streamlined so it would be faster....
But it just made it more sluggish......
Can you believe that Boeing is going to start building planes out of cardboard to save money?!
We can’t just let things like this fly!
To save money I made myself a pair of glasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles.
In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair
If you want to save money this Christmas,
now is the perfect time to tell the kids that Santa didn't make it through the pandemic.
My New Year's resolution is to save enough money to buy a Velcro wall.
And I plan on sticking to it!
If your plans are ruined this 2020 because of Coronavirus, save it for 2022
I'm gonna save it for the Office
My efforts to save on my electricity bills have really paid off.
And honestly, I’m delighted.
Recently I’ve been collecting cans in the park and crushing them down to save space.
My wife insists I need to find a hobby that’s not soda pressing
So a vowel saves another vowel’s life.
The other vowel says, “Aye E! I owe you!”
If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire.
v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
How do pig families save money on clothes?
My wife and kids told me to stop singing Christmas songs. They said 'It's March, save it for the one day it is Christmas!'
I said 'Oh... I wish it could be Christmas everyday.'
In a new movie 007 must save us from a mad man intent on setting off an atomic bomb on the bottom of the Ocean
Me and my friend opened a bank account to save up for drugs
Thor’s brother didn’t want anyone to know he was helping him save Asgard
I got a new vertical bed to save space.
Only problem is, it keeps me up at night.
Spiderman saves the day with help of a sad joke.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
Why couldn’t the life guard save the hippy?
Because he was too far out, man
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, “here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, “are you a vet?”
He said, “vet? I’m fucking soaking”
Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy ?
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippy?
Because he was too far out man
So a vowel saves another vowel's life.
The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
My New year's resolution is to save enough money to buy myself a Velcro wall.
I'm planning on sticking to it.
My New Years resolution this year is to save enough money to buy myself a Velcro wall.
I’m planning on sticking to it.
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning?
Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie ?
Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
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