Why was the cow award a blue ribbon?

The cow was out standing in his field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kryptinizer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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While paying for groceries at a local store ,they had reusable shopping bags with the breast cancer awareness ribbon on them with a handwritten sign that said $.99 for a better tomorrow.

I asked the young girl at the register "If I buy this and don't have a better tomorrow can I return it for a refund?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jHugley328
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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Daughter: "Dad! My little brother said I'm as chubby as the blue ribbon steer at the State Fair!"

Dad: "That isn't very nice but it's a reasonable fat simile."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Die4Cy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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What do you call Batman and Robin after getting run over by a car?

Flatman and Ribbon.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Boy_Noodlez
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Did you hear about the fight in the biscuit tin?

The bandit hit the penguin over the head with a club, tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue ribbon, and made his breakaway in a taxi, escaping along the rocky road to mars, the milky way, and the Galaxy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadgerEatCheese
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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A police officer walks into a tattoo parlor

A police officer walks into a tattoo parlor, hoping to get something cool drawn onto his shoulder. He walks up to the artist and shows him a picture of what he wants. In large text on a ribbon it says, "Protect and Serve." Below it, is a picture of a a badge, a pair of handcuffs, and a pistol. The tattoo artist is very good at his job, and says he can get this done in one session, so the officer sits down and the artist gets started. A few hours later, the artist is just finishing up, inking the last details of his service weapon. Once the last line is inked on the trigger, the cop gets up from his chair and looks in the mirror to see his new tattoo. His face twists into a look of shock and terror, pulls out his gun and opens fire onto the tattoo artist, killing him in the process. He gets on his radio, calling for backup, and took a defensive position until a few more cops and the police chief showed to the parlor minutes later. The chief, while examining the scene asks the officer, "What the hell? Why did you shoot this guy?" The cop says, "What did you expect me to do? The guy drew a gun on me!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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Today my daughter asked, "Could I have a bookmark?"

I said sure, let's make one out of paper, ribbon, and colors together. She was very happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hivehivebuzzbuzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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What did people call batman and Robin after the joker smashed them with a giant fly swatter?

Flatman and Ribbon.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Don't forget, tomorrow is National Typewriter Awareness day

So please buy a ribbon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmmmb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2016
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Dad joke about horse bondage (sfw)

My 2 year old daughter was playing with a toy horse and wrapping a pink ribbon around it. It was starting to look like a bondage scene so I turned to my wife and said: "Look honey, 50 shades of neigh". She shook her head harder than Michael J. Fox.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShortTemperedGeek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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Holy dadjokes, Batman!

My dad: "Did you hear what happened to Batman and Robin?!"

Me: "...no, what?"

Dad: "They got run over by a steamroller!"

Me: "oh God... -_-"

Dad: "Yeah! Now they're Flatman and Ribbon!"

Haha... Ha...ha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LyndsayFTW
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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What do you call Batman and Robin after they’ve been run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mountainspringH20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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What do you call Batman and Robin after they got run over by a steamroller?

Flatman and Ribbon.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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