I go to the gym religiously.

About twice a year around the holidays.

πŸ‘︎ 444
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m dieting religiously.

I no longer eat in church.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shadeauxmarie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Our aunt made a religiously-themed painting. After looking at it, my brother told me we're going to hell.

"We have seen the Aunty Christ."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Religious puns
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Mike Tyson is a religious guy.

He punches people in the faith.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know bees tend to have unusual religious beliefs?

That's because they're insects

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danelius90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Which dictator is considered a hedonist by most religious practitioners?

Infidel Castro.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blan_Uator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the majority of cows religious beliefs?

Moo-slims

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChubChuz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of birds are religious?

Birds of Pray

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwkwardUkulele7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently watched a documentary on Mike Tyson. I had no idea he was so religious...

He kept saying he likes to hit people in the FAITH!!!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pyrojodge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the kinkiest religious building called?

The MOANastery

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SendMeNoodPics
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
For religious people, life is a pray-to-win game.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NormieLord_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What religious positions are open for women?

Nun

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonservia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a religious woman living in a monastery who studies the encyclopedia...

She's nun the wiser!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I don’t go to church much…

But I do drink religiously...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I recently staged an intervention for my religious feline addict.

Needless to say, he's not a Catholic anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bballconnor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I hired a group of protestant religious sect members to haul my furniture to my new house...

They were movers and Shakers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a religious businessperson's favorite type of business?

Sole proprietorship

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allymeow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the religious man cross the raging river?

He took a leap of faith!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphaboss
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I decided to leave my strict, religious Pennsylvanian community to raise ducks. When I told my father, he said "Son, you have a choice"

You can either be a Quaker, or a Quacker.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fischerkidd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know that a religious person should have bagels for breakfast everyday?

They are as holy as food can get.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loopystring
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know what is the most religious chord?

Gsus

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chokeolattemilk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A conversation with my 11 year old this morning...

Son: Dad, there's a hole in your t-shirt. Me: I know, it's my religious t-shirt. Son: gives me a blank look Me: It's holy!

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthCoffeeBean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a metal religious woman?

Aluminun

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheesybacon250
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religious cat-lover?
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religious hawk?

A bird of pray

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nick3797
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Santa have much of a religious opinion during the holidays?

Due to his diet, he tends to be eggnog-stic

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pricklydoughball
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the illiterate guy say when he saw a religious referee on a morning jog?

A Ref runned!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schwanz_Hintern64
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Just a hare off the mark
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cREDBARON
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religious fruit?

A preach.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/angstyslut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't drink for religious reasons.

I drink for completely other reasons.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vonBirckholz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a surfer's favorite religious book?

Duderonomy

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelionmermaid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to join a secret religious society, but the requirements were very strict.

It was called Diffi cult.

πŸ‘︎ 365
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend loves fancy cheese so much it's almost religious.

You might say she has a personal relationship with cheeses.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfDa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Who is the most religious animal in the animal kingdom?

The mantis, because they are always praying.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My very religious Aunt attends mass daily.

She says that's because missing church for seven days makes one weak!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
When you're not religious but will always throw a party
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/queenofmynothing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are Eagles so religious?

because they’re birds of prey

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adc2502
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
He came out as bi to his religious mother. She went to the Fish and Wildlife Service to ask for help.

She didn't know how to handle a bison

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaGmBr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to fire my Christian guitar tutor. He was too religious. I wanted to learn guitar, but all he kept talking about was

G-sus

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
How many religious women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nun.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicolaskg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a religious nomad?

Roman Catholic

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Meat-beater-mitch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Which animal species is the most religious?

MONK-eys

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bully90
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Which birds are the most religious?

Birds of prey

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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