If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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I was walking with about 100 cows from one ranch to another and I had to pass through a vineyard so

I herded through the grapevine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?

"Don't look! I'm dressing!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...

things could get grizzly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drlolbl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My wife called me ranch today....

Cause I be Dressing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mental_Act4662
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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I was pissed when I lost my job at the horse ranch

I was told it would be stable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IshruggedItOff
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, you’ve effectively undressed the salad.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsnufflewuffle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ranch say when someone opened the refrigerator door?

Close the door, I’m dressing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other?

Cool ranch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OakNLeaf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My in-Law's just told us they bought a ranch named "Que Pasa Ranch."

I said, "YOO! That's what's up!"

Only my father in law laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Psychofanatical
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I wanted to ride horses so I went to a ranch near me.

When I asked if they have riding lessons they said neigh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSeVinx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I think I will never have the Neverland-Ranch on my salad again.
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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I would tell you a ranch joke but

It’s still dressing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
To the ranch
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrEeban
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'

The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone else hate ranch on pizza?

Like just when I think I’m about to eat a fine pizza, a farmer comes out with a herd of cows, and walks straight on my pizza.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrueomegaJF
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
what if I told you that cowboy clothes is just a fancy way of sayin ranch dressing?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bealosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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My aunt showed up to our Halloween party wearing ranch bottle costume. She was an hour late.

Her response: Sorry, I was getting dressed.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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A day at the ranch
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BOBOUDA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Took my son to a ranch for the first time, he never heard a foal neigh before and thought it was sick.

I told him it was just a little horse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Did you know Caesar had a ranch on the thousand islands in north America?

I don't know why he called it a ranch they only grew lettuce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Ordering pizza with my 3 year old.

Me: do you want ranch or blue cheese? 3yr old: ranch is for horses

Little guy Caught me off guard lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjorazi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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If I ever own a ranch in my old age

I'm definitely gonna call it "Pasture Prime"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jshrad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
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What do you call self-replicating ranch hands?

von Neumann's Own

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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What do you call it when you dip two celery sticks in ranch at the same time?

Double dipping

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Exulansiss
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
While out at a cousins ranch....

Seeing a horse lick another horse:

Daughter: Daddy, that horse licked that other horse!

Me: Well you know what they say, love thy NEIGHbor!

Group except me: [groans]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guacamolium
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
🚨︎ report
I used to work on a ranch that had 99 cattle

but when I rounded them up there was 100.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BecauseItAmusesMe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a farm that sells chickens and pigs?

A chicken, bacon, ranch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inevitable_Rough
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don’t you play poker on a ranch?

That’s where they raise the steaks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Knight499
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do the broccoli say to the ranch?

I'm going to take a dip

Courtesy of my 10 year old boy, very proud of him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesummond
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are ranch homes bad at fortune telling?

They only have one story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
What's Pizza Ranch?

My 12 year old son was riding with me the other day and noticed a new restaurant had just opened up in a town nearby. It's a chain of Western themed pizza restaurants called "Pizza Ranch." So when my son asked "What's Pizza Ranch?" I obviously had to respond with "Well that's where they raise all the dough."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Upnortwi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Ranch dressing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nomorecah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2013
🚨︎ report
I pour a tiny amount of ranch on my girlfriends plate

Her: "that's all I get?"

Me: "would you expect any less?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desertjedi85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
🚨︎ report
If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the bottle of ranch say when the man opened the fridge door?

"Don't look! I'm dressing!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnyprophet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?

Cool Ranch.

πŸ‘︎ 236
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I would tell you a ranch joke but

It was still dressing

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
After my very first visit to an authentic cowboy ranch, I had to go buy a wiener dog.

I mean, the folks there were so nice, and as I left, the guy told me, "Get a long little doggy!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukethelogician
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The city boy asked the ranch hand how to tell a cow from a bull

"Just look underneath and count the dangly bits. If it's not one thing, it's an udder"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2017
🚨︎ report
If you wear cowboy clothes ...

are you ranch dressing?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?

Cool ranch!

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report

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