How do ranchers keep track of all their cows?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 10 2020
Why did the government arrest a rancher who fed cannabis to his cattle?
The stakes were too high.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
The rancherβs wifi wasnβt working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
Why should you never try to bluff a rancher?
He'll always raise the steaks.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 29 2020
Why do ranchers have wrinkled noses?
Because they spend all day smelling that dairy-air.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 12 2020
I met a rancher who told me the apocalypse would soon be upon me.
Moments later an animal kissed me, thatβs when I realized heβd said the Alpaca lips would soon be upon me.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 17 2020
Iβve been working a long time. My job is hard, unfulfilling and honestly, doesnβt pay that great. I think itβs time for a change of pace for me. Iβve decided to go into a completely different direction and become a pig rancher.
Itβs the only way I can bring home the bacon.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 09 2019
A rancher asked me if I could help round up his 26 sheep.
So I said, βSure... 30.β
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 21 2019
A rancher with only 95 cattle managed to get 100 into the pen.
All he had to do was round them up.
π︎ 194
π
︎ Aug 15 2018
I was talking to a rancher today. I said, βI have 54 sheep. Can you round them up for me?β
βSure,β he said. β60.β
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jul 04 2019
Why is it risky to buy ribeye and sirloin directly from a cattle rancher?
Because he raises the steaks.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
Why did the butcher quit his job and become a cattle rancher?
He wanted to raise the steaks.
π︎ 65
π
︎ Nov 11 2018
What does the Cattle Rancher say when he plays Poker and goes All In?
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 16 2019
Why is it dangerous to gamble with a cattle rancher?
Because they're always raising the steaks.
π︎ 112
π
︎ Mar 07 2016
A rancher rounded up his 98 cattle.
When he was done he had 100.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 15 2018
Why will ranchers never feed their cattle marijuana?
It makes the steaks too high.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Apr 20 2017
A butcher and a rancher were playing poker, but the butcher had to fold.
The rancher kept raising the steaks.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 18 2016
The twelve days of Jokemas, day eleven
What do you call Santa on a horse?
A Jolly Rancher
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
What do you call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
What do you call a guy that herds reindeer instead of cattle?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
My step-dad came up with this so hope it counts. What do you call a gay farmer?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 24 2020
Whatβs a happy cowboyβs favorite candy?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
Why was the farmer so happy that he turned into a piece of candy?
Because he was a jolly rancher
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires.
As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. Sure enough within a minute the man has ridden his horse over to her. He dismounts and gives a happy βHello! Sounds like youβre having some car trouble. Can I help at all?β The woman replies that sheβs not sure what happened but that she would love some help. They pop the hood and the man says he thinks he can fix the problem but has to run back to his barn to get some tools. The cows have come to see whatβs going on and as the farmer gets ready to leave he says βDonβt worry about your car. Iβll have it running in a few minutes. Just head over there to the shade of the tree by the fence. The cows are all friendly. Bessy there likes to have her ear rubbed, Albert likes to look at people, and Mare will just moo a grand ole tune.β All of it is true and within 20 minutes the woman is happily sitting in her car with the engine running better than before. βThank you so much, youβre a life saver,β she says. The man smiles and lets out a big laugh before saying βIβm glad I could help. But Iβm no life saver. Iβm just a jolly rancher.β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 25 2019
You know, with all this talk about how cow farts are polluting the environment...
Ranchers really should start installing CATTLE-itic converters.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 22 2019
Did you hear about the happy cowboy who bought 100 acres?
Now he's a Jolly Rancher!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
What do you call a rock enthusiastβs favorite hard candy?
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 08 2018
You're not a happy camper are you?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 12 2014
New candy apples
"Hey did you know that they are covering apples in jolly ranchers now instead of caramel."
"No I had no idea"
"Yeah I thinks it's pretty sweet."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 13 2014
How about the guys from the meat industry who were playing poker, betting with product?
I hear a cattle rancher came in and really raised the steaks.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 02 2016
What do call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 390
π
︎ May 10 2020
happy cowboy
dad**:** What doΒ you call a happyΒ cowboy?
son**:** What?
dad**:** A jollyΒ rancher.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
What do you call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 21 2019
If a cowboy is happy
Does that make him a jolly rancher?
π︎ 118
π
︎ Feb 07 2019
What is a happy Cowboys favorite candy?
π︎ 54
π
︎ Oct 21 2018
What do you call a happy cowboy?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 26 2018
What do you call a happy farmer who loves candy?
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 09 2017
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
