Doctor: “How is the boy who swallowed the quarter?”
I won a $1million in the lottery last night and have decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have 999.999.75 left.
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
My friend likes to convert all of his dollars into quarters.
A mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he could behave..
“Why do I always have to pay you to be good”
Why can’t you be a good for nothing like your dad
Mom complained when I asked for a few dollars in quarters to fill up my car’s tires.
Dad looked at me, shrugged and said “Inflation.”
What did the dollar say say to the 4 quarters
My mom found a 1975 quarter online for $150. Here’s how it went
i look up the coin online and it is worth $6 in mint condition and tell her the value
My mom: we should ask if they’ll negotiate
Me: we should buy it and see if we can flip it.
I’m 16 and fear for my future kids.
Where do magicians get quarters?
Somebody crop him in half for a quarter XD
My friend minted quarters instead of going to class for the whole semester...
What do you call a cage filled with Quarters, Dimes, and Pennies?
I saw 2000 pounds of quarters the other day
Hehehe close quarters....
If I had $1,000,000, I’d donate a quarter of it to charity.
Then I’d have $999,999.75.
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?
If the Super Bowl went into overtime, does that mean the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?
I really hope Tide had another commercial ready just in case.
Edit: Thank you for the Reddit Gold, kind stranger! My first!
I won a million dollars playing the lottery and donated a quarter of it to my favorite charity.
What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?
I made a “Quarter Pounder”
When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
If a servant's quarters is too big....
It will be called a servant's whole
When doing end of quarter inventory,
Any help you can get really counts.
Im gonna start making batting cage business that only accepts pennies, dimes,quarters, half dollars, and dollar coins
Gonna call it Nickel-less Cage
What do you call it when it rains quarters?
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
A man walks into the same bar every day at quarter past five...
You would think he'd learn to duck under it by now...
It was really windy last night. A quarter of my roof came off in the wind...
I once threw a quarter into the San Andreas...
I have always wanted to be generous to a fault.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
“Wow!” I say. “It’s climate change!”
If I won $300,000, I'd give a quarter of it to charity.
Not sure what I'd do with the other $299,999.75
How many Quarter Pounders make a Big Mac?
None of them, they can’t cook.
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Milwaukee Bucks. The only bucks you can't get 4 quarters out of.
I found what I suspect is a long-running dad joke in a drawer at my work. It's a quarter pounder.
imgur.com/go2fngq
Did you hear about the guy who got three quarters of his back removed?
Apparently, he's a quarterback now.
What cereal do you eat late in the fourth quarter?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch-Time
I was going to sell a quarter for a nickel on eBay
I decided not to because it didn't make any cents
You can never trust someone who says they are a quarter millionaire.
You don’t know if they have $250,000 or $1,000,000 in Quarters.
Hey dad I'm still missing an Illinois quarter.
"I'll just remember Sick-o-Sound."
'What?'
"You know Ill-of-noise, sick of sound"
"..."
When I was younger, my Dad used to throw quarters at me whenever I acted stupidly.
He said, “Maybe that’ll knock some cents into you.”
What do you call a cage full of dimes, pennies, and quarters?
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