Dad jokes that you overuse in public that infuriate your partner?
So my partner probably wants to stab me more than i think. Almost every time she ask is me to “put the kettle on” I respond “I can’t, it won’t fit” or if we’re shopping and I’m asked “do you need a bag” I point at her and say “it’s fine I brought my own” there are others, but they currently evade my 2am brain.
I feel I need some new ones to keep her on her toes and what better place than this sanctum of one liners (except for this post, for which I apologise).
Did you hear about the teddy who got arrested for public indecency?
Why did the teacher never fart in public?
Imagine a form of public transportation where there is no monetary fee but you relive past mistakes for as long as you are a passenger
The public pool sector must be taking a real dive right now
After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
Throwback to when I found this vacant billboard in public
Public Service Announcement: In order to meet the energy budget for 2020....
the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Thank you and have a nice day.
My friend tried to delay the inevitable by locking himself in a public bathroom...
Bad saxophone players should be put on some kind of public list.
I want to know if I'm living next to a registered sax offender.
What do you call someone who doesn’t fart in public?
Do you use toilet seat liners in public restrooms?
Or do you not give a crap
Egyptian Council Leader: the public transport in Cairo is terrible.
Egyptian Transport Secretary: We need a new bus
I know it's a public health thing ... still getting pretty tired of this Korn teen
Why is whispering in public a bad idea?
People who go out in public without a mask make me sick.
I can't believe the lights in the public bathroom went out
now i can't see Jack shit
What do you call bread that doesn’t want its name out in the public
While living alone and always wearing a mask in public, I grew a mustache without anyone knowing.
In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.
I practice social diss dancing.
Did you hear about the fraction that was arrested for drinking whiskey in public?
People who dislike breadfeeding in public are not haters.
They're just tired of breasts being milked for all its worth.
I'm thinking about starting a company to provide Wi-Fi in public swimming areas.
I'm going to call it IP in Pools
Farmers notice : Public access to this field and footpath is free.
I tried to start a conversation in the public restroom...
but everyone was occupied
Hey pal, why won’t you cover your face while you’re in public?
What was the rap name of the Jewish guy with a fear of public speaking?
I just had an half hour argument with my 5 year old about the importance of wearing pants in public, and she won.
So today I’m wearing pants to take her to school.
Friend asked why I never used the public restrooms
Because I'm not a party pooper.
The missus just told me airlines are selling their ready meals to the public.
Dad: They'll never take off.
llamenting every public breath I take
I just passed gas in public and everyone heard it.
They really caught wind of the situation
People! The public bathrooms are for peeing only!
Either you're in, or you're out!
Garbage Public Service Announcement
It's very important to make sure that one always has a trash can at one's disposal.
I think my brother is an kleptomaniac who steals from public roads
I just want to wear a sheet out in public
Sorry to Aries this problem in public
What did the cop say to the guy he caught peeing in public?
I like to have sex in my vehicle in public
I guess you can call me an Expeditionist.
The cops caught me having sex with a clock in public again
It looks like I'm doing time
What do you call a teacher who doesn’t fart in public?
What do you call a teacher who doesn’t like to fart in public?
Why couldn't the teacher fart in public?
What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public?
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