A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3.

He says, β€œuno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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Did you know that auditoriums are designed to have sound bounce around to the audience?

This doesn’t happen with pigeons, though. This is because a coo sticks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxerfp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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What did the cannibalistic comedian say when the audience was hard to eat?

"Tough crowd."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/name_is_3-20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
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As a blind comedian, I have been trying to understand my audience.

Ah, who am I kidding?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show recently and the audience began applauding when the chef made meringue. Which is odd because...

...Australians usually boo meringue

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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Did you hear the one about the Mexican Magician? He announced to his audience: "For my final illusion, I will make myself vanish on the count of three…"

"… UNO! DOS!" *POOF* And he vanished without a Tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.

This is because of a-coo-sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nebulas-Entity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue

I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.

Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_methematician
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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What a wonderful audience
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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A Spanish magician prepares the audience for his final trick...

He yells "UNO!"

The crowd falls silent in anticipation.

"DOS!"

Everyone's eyes are wide, laser focused on the preformer.

Then, the magician vanishes... without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience. The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this.

The reason is a coo sticks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarlosMingos22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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An audience member asked me how I made the brisk sharp cracking sound with my hand.

I told her it was a snap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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I onced used some poor functioning speakers in front of a live audience.

I got some pretty bad feedback.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2020
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Maybe 7/8 in a different audience might get it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vickyvaikunth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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American School shooting jokes tend to be aimed at the younger audience.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigni44a
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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I went to a motivation conference and the speaker asked the audience, "What drives you?"

I put my hand up and answered, "My car."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Aimed at a younger audience
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notrueme
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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Why was the audience bored at the horror movie?

Because they had to wait for It

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MFD123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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So I guess the comedian couldn’t get his audience of body builders to laugh.

Tough crowd..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Messicanhero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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What is the typical audience of a dadjoke?

A groan-up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiWizrius
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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I'm slowly losing the audience

Me, noticing that my two boys have been playing great together for a while: "Hey you guys, quit playing so nice!"

Younger Kid: confusion

Older Kid: exasperated sigh Dad's trying to make a joke.

Nobody: laughs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wafflesareforever
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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I saw a magician yesterday that turned audience members into wind turbines.

I immediately became a big fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Flurr
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
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Why did the spinal cord not want to sing in front of an audience?

It was nervous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/P1NEAPPLE5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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If Yoda went on stage to introduce the band β€œGuess Who,” the audience would be so confused.

He’d come to the microphone and simply say β€œGuess Who, this is”

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
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The keynote speaker for the medical conference walked up to the stage. "Before I begin," he started, "is there anyone in the audience from Connecticut? " reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lady_Picard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
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An acrobat has been arrested for attacking an audience member at a recent show...

He was done for some-assaulting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amo_Amas_Amatt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
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Has there ever been a classical music group that only performed where they are hidden from view of the audience?

They would be playing Hayden go-seek.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/irl_lulz
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Audience

So we were having cake because it's my dads birthday and this is a conversation he had with my brother.

20 year old brother to dad: can you cut me another peice of cake?

Dad: you can do it yourself

Brother (jokingly): then what do I have you for?

Dad: so I have an audience winking at me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomaHawk21
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
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If they used to film all these T.V. shows "before a live studio audience", what did they do after the audience got there?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2018
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A hispanic magician tells his audience he will vanish on the count of three...

...he counts, "uno, dos," then disappears without a tres.

Saw this somewhere online, thought it belonged here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ncbenavi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2016
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Best audience I've ever had!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbcom
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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Sir Patrick Stewart got into a fight with an audience member at 'The Emoji Movie' premiere...

...apparently the shit hit the fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andy399
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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What did the comedian with a leg amputated at the pelvis tell to the audience?

A half-assed joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StanleySalad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
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The best dad jokes are the ones you laugh at more than the audience...

I didn't come up with this but its been flying around reddit for a while...

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' replied the son,I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

Father,' said the son to this,I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Sven
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2013
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I was watching an Australian cooking show when the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I was watching an Australian show and the audience applauded when the host made a lemon meringue.

I was confused because I thought Australians usually boo meringue.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded when the chef made a meringue.

I was surprised. Usually Australians boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show and the audience started applauding when the chef made a meringue.

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three.

Uno, dos... poof. He disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetusAFeetus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience applauded the chef for making a perfect meringue.

I was surprised, as Australian's usually boo meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/holiestofrollers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show and was surprised when the audience cheered the meringue.

Australians usually boo-meringue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bu11et_farmer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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A Mexican magician told his audience that he would vanish on the count of 3. Uno, dos and he disappeared without a tres...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mattasaurusrrex
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says β€œUno, dos,” *poof*

...he disappeared without a tres

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TroyMcClure8184
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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A Mexican magician tells his audience he’ll disappear on the count of three

He counts β€œUno, dos....” and poof, he’s gone without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgetthemango
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos, ..." *POOF!*

He disappeared without a tres.

(I'll see myself out)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_cleaner
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2015
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A Mexican magician tells his audience he will disappear on the count of 3.

He says "uno, dos..."

poof ...He disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cerealcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
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A Mexican magician tells the audience "I will disappear on the count of 3..."

He says, "Uno, dos..." poof... And he disappeared without a tres.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OuttaTheSideHatch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
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I once saw a magician turn an entire audience into wind turbines...

I immediately became a big fan!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
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