What do whales carry for protection?

Swordfish.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moonpies4everyone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.

Now I have salmonella.

(I’m sorry, it’s a fishy joke)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eriknobeats
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I can't believe that somebody stole my protections spells.

I'm at a loss for wards.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 39
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you always use hearing protection?

Because otherwise you need hearing aids

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/femkuhhhh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What can a hip hop battle rapper use for protection against the harshest rhymes?

Bubble rap

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Apple used to sell phone protection with the phone?

Well, not anymore but that used to be the case

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maxbicmac2004
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you always use protection when having sex at sea?

So you don't get mermaids.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrcharlesboyle
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you cross an Austrian city with cyber protection software?

VPNna

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SeekerSpock32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
LPT: Always wear hearing protection when you go to loud concerts.

This is sound advice.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rufnubbins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Not using protection was a big missed steak.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Boston Dynamics home-protection robot that failed to stop intruders due to faulty shoulder bolts?

It was easily disarmed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
After being warned to protect my new phone, I finally got my protection in the mail today. They sent me one meant for a teen girl with bieber on it. I still will use it until i can replace it to protect my phone.

Just in: Case; Justin case. Just Encase, just in case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SamWalton_of_Walmart
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
TIFU by sleeping with my chemistry professor without protection.

Good thing she’s Boron so I couldn’t get her pregnant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tribalDemon
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Joke about protection

If you think about it, condoms are just meat shields

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
what does the black panther use for protection

a wakondom

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aids_or_cancer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
What is it called when your lack of protection causes ornaments to break in their boxes?

T’ issue paper

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GuitarGusto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.

Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 110
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theotherpurple
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2016
🚨︎ report
My bird protection agency:

No harm no fowl.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bleish22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2017
🚨︎ report
when a dog barks loudly to keep intruders away from the house, it is creating a protection racket

think about that. your dog is the mafia now

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/findanegg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Crime is getting worse where I live, so my dad decided to give me some protection and boxed up his trusty 9mm, a big and a small clip and a bunch of shells for me! [Xpost /r/funny]

https://imgur.com/2ylrnpK

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lindymad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about The Pirate Bay’s new privacy protection?

They are GDPARRRRR! Compliant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Weazel
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the fire protection equipment say to the fire fighter?

"No guarantees, but I'll do asbestos I can."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubgeek
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
They say that getting married as a women is like being put on a witness protection programme

The bride gets a new name and a dress.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_am_LordHarrington
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 05 2017
🚨︎ report
The many meanings of Protection youtube.com/watch?v=ZiTri…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/megadongs12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Remember to play safe and always use ear protection!

You don't want to get hearing aids.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IPoAC
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 05 2016
🚨︎ report
The salesman at the store tried to get me to buy protection for my phone

I thought they made a pretty good case...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/benretan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Always use Protection

Because amateur tection never gets the job done right

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/waterburger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.