Promoted Puns

...lately, he's been feeling down.

Because he was outstanding in his field

Señority

I am a branch manager.

I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!

I am now a counter-terrorism officer.

I went with "Your Own Personnel Jesus"

My boss was complaining she really needed a nap. I told her she should just go take one.

Boss "Oh yeah cause taking a nap right now would be so easy."

Me "Its so easy you can do it with your eyes closed..."

Cue her rolling her eyes and shaking her head. My director peaked his head out and nodded approvingly though. Respect.

She brought a lot to the table.

Though I guess that's just a generalization.

I am now the CIEIO.

He didn’t make the cut!

He ended up getting a chip on his shoulder

I'm ad nauseous.

“Offices are for squares” -friend

“That’s weird. Mine is one square. Four walls though” - me

I was at work and saw my manager walking around with a clock.

I lick my lips,

My muscles tighten,

All I hear is my heartbeat.

My manager and I make eye contact. The words come out almost instantly:

"Looks like you've got a lot of time on your hands, sir."

He maintains eye contact for a second and walks away, but I could hear his soul groan.

I was being especially counter-productive.

He was outstanding in his field.

Because he was outstanding in his field.

He was outstanding in his field.

Because he was outstanding in his field ⭐

He was outstanding in the field.

He was outstanding in his field.

Because he was out standing in his field.

He was outstanding in his field.

It was outstanding in its field!

He was outstanding in his field!

He was Outstanding in his field!