I spent most of the weekend fastening pieces of fabric together for an upcoming project.
What do you call a fuzzy ceramics project?
We must create artistic compositions made of various materials glued on a surface for my Art 419 class project...
I guess I'll give it the old collage try.
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
"Okay rookie, the first thing you've got to learn about making pornography for the blind is: Voice Projection."
"That sounds hard."
"Thank you. I'm a professional."
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?
That’s when I draw the line.
My daughter's teacher gave her a project to write the English alphabet on slips of paper. Unfortunately 25 letter slips got wrinkled on her way to school.
But atleast she has a smoothie
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
Auditoriums are specially designed so that sound will bounce around the walls and ceiling in order to be projected to the audience. However, if you place a pigeon on the stage, the coo of said pigeon will not bounce.
This is because of a-coo-sticks.
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.
Their next car is Elon gated.
How do old French men know so much about cheese?
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting a
An eggciting resin art project
How do you call a Photoshop project file that gave you anxiety ?
A brother and sister were working with each other on a science project.
While the sister was working the brother was walking around doing nothing
5 minutes pass
B: Ow
S: You alright
B: Yeah, just bumped into the table
S: Where does it hurt
B: Mitosis
The project to restore Big Ben was a bit behind schedule, so the construction company put on a third shift...
Men are now working around the clock.
Paper based puns for a project about turning paper into plastics
My buddy, Evan, just got acquitted of all charges that he was imprinting his face in the foundation of a local housing project.
They couldn't find any concrete Evan dents.
I’ve been working on a passion project called ‘The Dirtiest Dishes’
What will newborn babies become if the Goverment use them in a secret military project?
They wil be some fine ass Infantry
Give me antagonizing Fish puns
I'm looking for fish puns you would annoy the person who's unwillingly going on a fishing trip with you (it's for a fictional project) Would appreciate the help!
What do you call it when you hear a disembodied stomach grumble?
I’ve almost finished my project on dress shirts.
I’m just buttoning it up now.
My Dad owns his own paving company.
He decided to do some work on his own drive way one weekend. He started to complain about how poorly the project was going, I told him well, it’s your own asphalt.
Vampires make great project managers
They always try to keep stake holders happy
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied “I drew a blank”
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.
But now they have a lot of violins
I made a Dot Plot Graph in 2 minutes for my Science project
It wasn't the most accurate, but it gets the point across.
The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.
That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.
Wouldn't it be cool if you could project cat sounds into other people's heads?
When Manhattan Project workers needed to keep their jobs secret, they would leave and tell their loved ones:
"I'm going on a fission trip."
My preschooler’s project — mistletoes
The sculptor was going to make a full body statue
But he stopped at the chest and called the project a bust.
I like doing group projects with bodybuilders.
They do all the heavy lifting.
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
My family was talking about my sisters project where she had to make a Roman theatre. In it she put some guys stabbing each other, as a demonstration of how plays sometimes consisted of people actually killing each other to make it more realistic.
I mentioned that they used slaves and criminals, since they would have a hard time getting actors to play the part of someone that actually dies, and my dad disagreed.
He said: No, people were dying to have that job.
Sorry if something like this has already been posted.
A friend just told me about this documentary on burnout in the pagan community...
it's called "The Bleh Witch Project"
The business man opened a shadow puppet theater that should make a fortune!
But that’s just projected figures.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
