The girl next door is bathing topless and all the neighbours are arguing whether thatโ€™s right or not.

Me however, Iโ€™m sitting on the fence.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 84
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Few-Vegetable540
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 24 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I don't remember agreeing to this. I feel violated already
๐Ÿ‘︎ 34
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/giojules
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 12 2022
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So apparently NASA hadn't heard of farting before...
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/aplhaone
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus further than ever before.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anthonybrose
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Chicken

Cooking chicken on the barbecue and trying out the new temperature probe. Daughter(13) asks: What are you doing Dad? .. Iโ€™m just checking the chicken, itโ€™s 54. She replies: Thatโ€™s a pretty old chicken! Very proud.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tkkls
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If they send another probe to Saturn's biggest moon, they should put a pushpin on it.

Then it'll be a tack on Titan.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CourageKitten
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks...

He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "ยกEso sรญ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 91
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cyberentomology
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
There's a probe going to Pluto tomorrow ...

It would have arrived sooner, but it was too busy poking around Uranus.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Da___Michael
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is a spacecraft chock-full of microbes sent to populate the nearest planetary system?

A probe-biotic.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FernandoLH95
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Aliens have their own nutritional needs.

I hear they enjoy the probe-iotics.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wyllyam1111
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A crow asked a woman,

"would you like to donate to my charity?" The woman replied, "Sure! What's it called?" The crow said, "CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!" The woman probed, "Why is it called that?" The crow replied, "Enough with all these questions! It's four good caws."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CorruptPerson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife and I went to see a marriage counsellor. "Have you guys been having sex?" she asked.

"Yes," we replied.

"Tell me about the frequency," the marriage counsellor probed.

"Well, he's a little bit too high-pitched for my liking," replied my wife.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dad, on the Chinese moon landing.

Me: "How did it take them 13 days?"

Dad: "...maybe they went the Wong way."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 191
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fleurr
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Deepthroats and Deep Space are pretty similar.

They both take a lot of probing.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lonely_reaper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a politician speaking to a panel

An anal probe

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jmahler0514
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Grilling Chicken

So I asked my dad (a pretty good cook) how to properly grill chicken. His response:

In a basement cement block room, with a locked door, place a chair under a bright light. Have the chicken sit in the chair and aggressively ask it probing questions.

If it doesn't give honest answers, slap it around a little.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kleinyman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
she wanted the dog.

housemate 1. : "I'd love a beagle"

me: "what the space probe?"

Housemate 2. : "sigh* shut up...are they difficult to manage?"

me: "i'd expect so, it took half of NASA to put it on mars"

the response was furrowed brow's and giggles.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ridik_ulass
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sรญ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Alec935
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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