NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus further than ever before.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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If they send another probe to Saturn's biggest moon, they should put a pushpin on it.

Then it'll be a tack on Titan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CourageKitten
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2017
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There's a probe going to Pluto tomorrow ...

It would have arrived sooner, but it was too busy poking around Uranus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da___Michael
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks...

He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Β‘Eso sΓ­ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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So apparently NASA hadn't heard of farting before...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aplhaone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
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My Vietnamese driver told me several riddles yesterday, do you know what they were?

First off a six-parter

  1. If there are 500 rocks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left? A: 499
  2. How do you get an elephant into a fridge? This is a three part process A: open the door, put in the elephant, close the door.
  3. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? This is a four part process A: open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, close the door.
  4. All the animals go to heaven for a meeting, but one can't come, why not? A: the giraffe, it's in the fridge.
  5. A weak old lady has to cross a river full of alligators, how does she get across? A: the alligators are at the meeting in heaven.
  6. As soon as the old lady gets across the river she dies, how? A: the rock fell on her head.

No 2 A real cool guy walks into a cafe. He wearing sunglasses, tidy haircut, but just a super cool guy all round. He orders a glass of condensed milk and puts it on his table. Next time the waitress walks past he asks for a glass of black coffee. Now he has a glass of milk and a glass of coffee next to each other, this guy is real cool. Next time the waitress walks past he orders a glass of ice. She's happy to do that for this dude because he is so cool. He mixes the milk and coffee with the ice and stirs with his little spoon. Looks good. The old man that owns the cafe walks up to him and says, 'I see your in the Navy". How did he know?

A: he was wearing a naval uniform.

Anyone know similar nonsense?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Patyboomba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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What is a spacecraft chock-full of microbes sent to populate the nearest planetary system?

A probe-biotic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FernandoLH95
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2020
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I was recently hired by aliens.

I am in my probe-ationary period.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Aliens have their own nutritional needs.

I hear they enjoy the probe-iotics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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A crow asked a woman,

"would you like to donate to my charity?" The woman replied, "Sure! What's it called?" The crow said, "CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!" The woman probed, "Why is it called that?" The crow replied, "Enough with all these questions! It's four good caws."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorruptPerson
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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What kind of camera did they use for your colonoscopy?

A GoProbe

Credit to my wife for this one. I'm so proud of her, she really outdid me with this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATMollen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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My wife and I went to see a marriage counsellor. "Have you guys been having sex?" she asked.

"Yes," we replied.

"Tell me about the frequency," the marriage counsellor probed.

"Well, he's a little bit too high-pitched for my liking," replied my wife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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What do you call a politician speaking to a panel

An anal probe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmahler0514
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
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Deepthroats and Deep Space are pretty similar.

They both take a lot of probing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lonely_reaper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2016
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My dad, on the Chinese moon landing.

Me: "How did it take them 13 days?"

Dad: "...maybe they went the Wong way."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fleurr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2013
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she wanted the dog.

housemate 1. : "I'd love a beagle"

me: "what the space probe?"

Housemate 2. : "sigh* shut up...are they difficult to manage?"

me: "i'd expect so, it took half of NASA to put it on mars"

the response was furrowed brow's and giggles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridik_ulass
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2014
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Grilling Chicken

So I asked my dad (a pretty good cook) how to properly grill chicken. His response:

In a basement cement block room, with a locked door, place a chair under a bright light. Have the chicken sit in the chair and aggressively ask it probing questions.

If it doesn't give honest answers, slap it around a little.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kleinyman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2014
🚨︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed.

"No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

"No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sΓ­ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alec935
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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