An investigation into the January 6th Capitol insurrection is not coup with Republicans.
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︎ May 25 2021
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.
He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
How do Tree crime investigators start their investigation
They go to the ROOT of the problem
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︎ Apr 22 2020
An investigation has been launched after a midget was pickpocketed earlier today.
Police are wondering how someone could stoop so low.
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︎ May 21 2020
After high school Farris Bueller became one of the most controversial FBI directors in recent memory after his investigation of a sitting president
The investigation was known as the "Bueller Report"
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︎ Jun 03 2019
This investigation is nuts.
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︎ Feb 11 2019
There's only one traffic sign that informs you and launches an investigation
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︎ Jul 16 2019
What does a private investigator call a short investigation?
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︎ Oct 27 2016
I hear they're re-opening the investigation into the Black Dahlia murder
The lead investigator was asked if it would be difficult to solve and he said "You don't know the half of it!"
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︎ Jan 26 2019
What do you call when a cow that helps an investigation?
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︎ Aug 09 2018
Have you guys heard about the police investigation into the death of a chickpea?
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︎ May 04 2018
Everyone asked Robert Mueller to hurry up with the investigation..
He replied, "Quit Russian me!"
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︎ Mar 18 2018
How does Rick Astley separate himself from an investigation?
He tells the investigators that he will Rick-use himself from the investigation.
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︎ Aug 31 2017
The first hurdle of a journalists investigation.
An ex policeman turned construction worker has been arrested. He is believed to of been in charge of a ring of cowboy workers. They were going around farms constructing stables, these stables had many faults-including many falling under strong head winds. We asked the man what his title with the police was? He replied "chief con-stable".
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︎ Sep 06 2014
Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Recently I've been doing some investigative journalism on hammers..
It's some real hard hitting stuff..
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︎ Jan 21 2021
Did you hear about the farmer that just got sentenced for killing his neighbors cow?
After a quick investigation, the Prosecutor was able to turn it into a brief case.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
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︎ Mar 04 2021
What do you call an alligator that wants to become a detective?
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︎ May 19 2021
My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...
She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Why did the case of the toilet bandit go cold?
They had nothing to go on.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Two police officers were investigating a murder scene.
They stumble upon a humanoid cement figure.
Officer 1: "Sir, we've found all the evidence we need to prove that this is the murderer's house."
Officer 2: "Why would anyone believe that this is evidence?"
Officer 1: "It's concrete."
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︎ Jul 02 2020
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldnβt bother question 8Dβs children about what they saw, since theyβre too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9Dβs kids will remember.
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︎ Sep 04 2019
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. Iβll let myself out.....
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︎ May 14 2020
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
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︎ Jan 19 2021
What do you call a reptile who makes financially wise decisions?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
A man was poisoned after eating an appetizer at a local restaurant.
Police are investigating a possible hummus side.
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︎ Feb 11 2021
Police were called to a day care to investigate a 3yo who was refusing to take a nap
They charged him with resisting a rest
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︎ Aug 13 2019
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What happens after an alligator commits a crime?
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Two policemen, an officer and a detective, are investigating a murder scene.
The officer says, "Huh. They left the bills, but took the coins. Any ideas, detective?"
The detective replies, "Just another centsless crime, officer."
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︎ Feb 05 2020
An American coronavirus investigator got sick and had to return from China
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︎ Mar 02 2020
Vest ever pun
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︎ Oct 15 2019
What would you call Donald Duck if he became a private investigator?
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︎ Oct 17 2019
Two cartoonists fought each other to death and the police are investigating
The details are pretty sketchy and the reports are saying it ended in a draw
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︎ Feb 09 2019
What's the difference between a Stalker and a Private Investigator?
The Private Investigator get's paid, and the stalker is pursuing his passion.
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︎ Oct 22 2019
Someone stole my through-hole printed circuit board components and replaced them with surface mount. The police investigated..
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
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︎ Aug 31 2020
All London policemen have disappeared!
Investigators are out of Leeds.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
(From my daughter) Who investigates toilet crimes?
The Poolice. It's their doody.
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︎ Aug 17 2019
HuaWei to hell
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︎ Apr 01 2019
A police officer was investigating the theft of an attachΓ©.
The culprit was quickly found so you could say it was a very brief case.
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︎ Oct 12 2019
There was a suspicious βaccidentβ at a construction site. The police investigated all the workers at the job site . . .
It looked like foul play. The mason wasnβt a suspect. He had a concrete alibi. The night of the accident he said he was with his girlfriend. She confirmed this. There was a wall of evidence. Consequently his alibi was rock solid and not just a facade. There was damning evidence that it was the plumber. They figured his alibi, that he was at the casino, wouldnβt hold water. But cameras showed fluid betting all night. This, obviously, threw a wrench in the investigation. The investigators followed a lead to the electrician. He had a shocking secret. It seems the electrician had been charged with battery only months earlier. But it was a dead end. They looked at the HVAC installer, but his alibi was airtight. Next, they tried to nail the Roofer, as he had been spouting off about the victim the day of the accident. But the roofer had been hammered all day. There was no way they could paint him as the cunning mastermind.
Then they saw the writing on the wall: the painter had both motive and opportunity. He was seen canvassing the accident site a few strokes before midnight when the accident occurred. The victim fell off a faulty ladder that was covered in finger paint. It seems the victim and the painter had a few brush-ins before. And it wasnβt a pretty picture. The painter was indicted, but despite all the evidence, the charges didnβt stick and the jury let him roll off clean.
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︎ Feb 18 2018
What do you call alligator in a vest?
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︎ May 17 2021
What do you call an alligator interested in detective work?
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︎ Apr 30 2021
What do you call an alligator that wants to be a detective?
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︎ Apr 29 2021
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
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︎ Feb 02 2021
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Two detectives were investigating a murder at a construction site
The evidence wasn't concrete.
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︎ Dec 04 2019
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