Using only the letters L H U T S E, how do you tell an investigator to hurry up?
My friend used to clean house for a famous singer-guitar player, til he died in 2016. She then became a police investigator...
She dusted for Prince now she's dusting for prints.
How do Tree crime investigators start their investigation
They go to the ROOT of the problem
Breaking news: Irish officials have reported that a passenger 747 has crashed into a Belfast cemetery. Investigators have discovered over ten thousand dead bodies at the scene. One local witness at a nearby pub claimed it was a Guinness record.
To be sure. I’ll let myself out.....
An American coronavirus investigator got sick and had to return from China
What would you call Donald Duck if he became a private investigator?
What's the difference between a Stalker and a Private Investigator?
The Private Investigator get's paid, and the stalker is pursuing his passion.
The investigators still didn't know who started the fire at the Notre Dame
A team of investigators found the body of a missing person in a frozen lake...
They finally cracked the cold case
What does a private investigator call a short investigation?
In my life I've been a maintenance mechanic, a make-up artist, a media director, a mender, a metre inspector, a microcomputer support specialist, a mill helper, a mirror installer, a music librarian and a mortician investigator.
That's my Mployment record.
As a private investigator, I'm pursuing a con man by tracing his stream of impoverished victims...
Yes, he left a pauper trail.
If a private investigator is called a private eye, what do you call a pirate investigator?
A privateer.
(It's one to hold on to for September 19th!)
Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Recently I've been doing some investigative journalism on hammers..
It's some real hard hitting stuff..
What do you call an alligator interested in detective work?
Did you hear about the farmer that just got sentenced for killing his neighbors cow?
After a quick investigation, the Prosecutor was able to turn it into a brief case.
I asked my police officer friend if he had made any progress with the investigation into who stole all their internet cables.
He said: No, we haven't even got any leads.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
Why did the case of the toilet bandit go cold?
They had nothing to go on.
What do you call a reptile who makes financially wise decisions?
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
What happens after an alligator commits a crime?
Two police officers were investigating a murder scene.
They stumble upon a humanoid cement figure.
Officer 1: "Sir, we've found all the evidence we need to prove that this is the murderer's house."
Officer 2: "Why would anyone believe that this is evidence?"
Officer 1: "It's concrete."
Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldn’t bother question 8D’s children about what they saw, since they’re too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9D’s kids will remember.
All London policemen have disappeared!
Investigators are out of Leeds.
Someone stole the toilet seat at the police station
Investigators have nothing to go on.
A man was poisoned after eating an appetizer at a local restaurant.
Police are investigating a possible hummus side.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
An investigation has been launched after a midget was pickpocketed earlier today.
Police are wondering how someone could stoop so low.
Police were called to a day care to investigate a 3yo who was refusing to take a nap
They charged him with resisting a rest
What do you call a doctor that does yearly checkups?
The president of the National Referees Association has been arrested for corruption.
Investigators haven't released the name of the whistle-blower.
Two policemen, an officer and a detective, are investigating a murder scene.
The officer says, "Huh. They left the bills, but took the coins. Any ideas, detective?"
The detective replies, "Just another centsless crime, officer."
What do you call an alligator that wants to be a detective?
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
What do you call an Alligator with a Vest on?
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
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