If we have the show "X-Files", Chris Hanson's "To Catch a Predator" could be called "Pedo-Files".
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSuitedHound
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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The swordfish has no natural predators to fear...

....except the penfish, which is supposed to be even mightier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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From my 8 year old: Dad, how do camels hide from predators?

Me: Their fur is the same color as the desert so they blend in.

Her: Exactly! They camel-flage!

I walked right into that one lol

πŸ‘︎ 309
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuaquiz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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What does an animal do when a predator is nearby?

It preys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guanjiawen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Defeating Predators With Facts & Logic
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FFPOE
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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the stonefish has no natural predator to fear from....

...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Natives of the African jungle, when avoiding predators, call the distance between you and a lion a β€˜wimb’

Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dongwaffler
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild.

Except for the seldom seen penfish which is said to be even mightier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toonieclaw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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What will you call it if an immigrant starts arguing with a priest?

Alien Vs Predator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
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Predators don't pray. Or do they?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidTheRiser07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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I tried to befriend the Predator

Now he's got my back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BurnedBurger84
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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Oh the humanity
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atalkingpizzabox
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
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A priest in the woods has been attacked by a pack of wolves. In a moment of desperation, the priest started to ask God how to get out of this situation.

The wolves may be predators but he pray

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MegaFamous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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A sexual predator
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarHouseStudios
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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What do you call a document filled with child predators?

pedofile

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kissaskakana
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Why are buffalo so good at hiding?

To bison time to escape from predators.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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Why can’t an aquatic predator and an avian predator team up to fight crime?

Because that would be eel-eagle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BearGuru
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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Which predator is the most silent?

The sch-ark.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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How do you tell when a child predator is active?

There’s a high number on his pedo-meter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/retroawesome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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Why are French snails faster than American ones?

L’ess cargo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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Intelligent
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hados1109
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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What do you call prey that can outrun it's predator?

Fast food

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2018
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Koi fish always travel in a groups of four

Because the predator will go after the D koi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marwadi_vakil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up?

The mean increases.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timoteostewart
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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This is one fish E pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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What do you call a fight between a Martian and a nerd with no social life?

Alien versus Redditor.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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what is the opposite of a predator?

a postdator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat_n_stupid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2015
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What do you call a premium redditor?

A predator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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A nun is teaching her students about the circle of life

"there are either predators or prey in the circle of life" explained the nun. "whatever an animal eats, it is called that animal's prey. for instance, rabbits eat lettuce - thus lettuce is rabbit prey."

"Sister, what is sunlight then?" asked a quizzical child.

smiling, the nun put her hands together and said, "lettuce prey".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-Vader
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Jordan Peterson is a controversial figure but he did figure out something interesting.

So he’s mostly known as a psychologist, self help Guru and β€œphilosopher” but he also did some interesting work in Marine Biology.

One of the papers he worked on was on how the nuclear tests in the Bikini Atol effected Predator genetics.

The results learned that the nuclear tests during the cold war disrupted shark breeding so much that species were splitting apart.

They called it the Post Modern Neo Shark Schism.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Why did the mammoth get in trouble with the archaeologist for texting the dinosaur?

Because the mammoth was to young to predate the dinosaur.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't you ever see penguins in England?

They're afraid of Wales

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Another pun drawing I did. Post your guess! imgur.com/CE77Tpy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiggidytom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2015
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T-Rex was upset that nobody would swipe right

Dating is tough for online predators

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Poortio
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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There was a weird Crab

Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.

His other crab people used to be away from him. Due to this sound.

Once he was captured by a predator and was bumped on a rock and got loose from the predators grip and ran away.

After the bump his ta-ta-ta-ta sound went away automatically.

Since that incident, he got friends and a new name- Santa Claus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/happy_anand
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
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What do you call when an illegal immigrant and a pedophile get into a fight?

Alien vs Predator

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UsedToothpick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
The swordfish has few predators in the wild.

Except for the rare penfish, which is said to be mightier.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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if an immigrant fights a pedophile, is that alien vs predator?
πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Eggs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do koi fish always travel in groups of 4?

So the A koi, the B koi, and the C koi can escape, because they know the predator will always go after the D koi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danwright32
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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Koi fish will always travel in groups of four.

Because while A Koi, B Koi and C Koi will get away,the predators will always go for the D Koi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudpucket1969
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report

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