I don't mean to brag, but I have sychic powers.

For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Watt is the unit of power?
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
For those who don’t know what a power plant is
πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuriSosa25
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I will become the next great god. The embodiment of Thor and Odin’s power.

Tod.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rickapacolypse
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I can tie my shoe laces just by using the power of my mind.

I bet you don't believe me...

I thought knot.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
When is a nap considered a power nap?

When you feel recharged afterwards.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoserUserBruiser
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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My calculator only has enough power left to do one calculation

I really have to make it count

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Generating all of our power from solar energy ....

... its not going to happen overnight!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Awesome-79
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
With great power

Comes great electricity bills

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_tally
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the best shape to catch a Power Ranger with?

A trapezord.

Alternatively, the best shape to catch a homeless crustacean doctor is a trapezoidburg.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/overachievingogre
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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After getting my first vaccine I asked the nurse what super power do I get, but she just looked straight through me.

Looks like I might have invisibility!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnglustPoet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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I was experimenting with the power grid of my house

The results were shocking

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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I have the power to ejaculate a pretty good distance.

I’m surprised at how far I’ve come.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever since the power company shut off my electricity

I’ve been in a very dark place.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagdryna
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
[OC] Fire power
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRobotics5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
The power went out when I got my COVID vaccine, and I got lost in the building.

It was a shot in the dark, but I found it!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltingavocado
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you measure the power of love?

In jewels It's an engineering joke

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What did Austin Powers say when he visited the apiary?

"Oh, beehive."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"

The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Working on a home construction project and felt like relaxing with drink. Of course it's unsafe to mix alcohol with power tools.

Which is why I mixed my drink with a spoon instead.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BetterThanOP
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Power play coming up.
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Toast897
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The power of my nun-chucks
πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theManlyMan8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a musicians favourite power tool?

a BANDsaw

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesisprime1984
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Why can't the power bank see his kids?

Because he has a battery charge

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jet_001
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Spider-Man has many incredible powers, including the ability to know how many spiders there are around the world.

He uses his Spider Census.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MotherJoanFoggy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the power line not go to prom?

She was grounded

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooAvocados7098
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill

I got mixed results.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Karrathan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Dads, do you have the brain power for this joke? /r/cleanjokes/comments/k2…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inspire_me_please
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
With great power comes...

...a lot of work over a short time.

Probably not Watt you expected, right? I currently currently feel a little resistance to this joke.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_goldn_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Great power, great responsibility, etc.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hot_controller
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a junkie power ranger say before shooting up?

It's morphine time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What you call a sea horse with Telekinesis powers?

A Chi-horse

Sorry, this is the worst joke I have ever made

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/connectedwith5G
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Spider-Man offered to give me spidey powers to invent new quips for him.

I guess you could call it a quip pro quo.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The power of chi
πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GUNGUNM4N
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My power walk was cut short today

I ran out of extension cord

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-nony-mouse33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The legalize cannabis party had a fair few stoners voting for it this past election, but not enough to gain power

That’s a lot of wasted votes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukeurmyson
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.

Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What did one power line say to the other power line?

WaaaaZAAAP

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dangyougotme
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."

"I shit you knot."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Those German electricians really work together when their Cities have power outages.

Many Hans make light work.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My secret dad power is invisibility

Unfortunately, it only works at parties.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
He makes a power point.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
With great power

Comes great electricity Bill

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pillar_man_5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
With great power comes...

A huge electricity bill.

πŸ‘︎ 510
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πŸ‘€︎ u/P00PB0YY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.

For example, right now you’re thinking, β€œIt’s psychic, idiot.”

πŸ‘︎ 377
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
With great power comes a huge electricity bill.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sprice-3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report

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