Pints Puns

🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.

🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.

🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.

🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.

🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.

🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.

🍺 Beer may help improve memory.

🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.

That spoke volumes.

Beertrix potter

He must have been interstellar

An Elephant

;)

Beertrix Potter

(The 'Burnadebt' joke from last night reminded me that my dad told me both those jokes about 25 years ago! Definitely using them if I ever end up being a dad.)

I told him to forget the photo and just gimme a pint.

The barkeep says, "You're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic"

The horse replies, "I don't think I am," and vanishes from existence. See, the joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of 'l think; therefore, I am", but to explain that part before the rest of the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.

........................................ and a packet of peanuts."

"Okay," says the barman. "But why the big pause?"

....and one for the road.

I conduit

“Ah yes, Sherlock fancies himself quite the chef. You really must come visit us for dinner Friday at old 221B! There’s no place like Holmes’ for the hollandaise!”

A drunk guy walks into a bar and approaches the bartender, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor last week and he told me that I should drink less."

It was a bit too hoppy for me

The man says "that's not a lion, that's a giraffe"

"Would you like a beer mat?" he asked.

I said, "I prefer cider, pal. And my name isn't Matt."

20 Minutes

That spoke volumes.

An elephant

That spoke volumes.

That spoke volumes.

The bartender says "You know, you're in here pretty often. Do you think you might be an alcoholic?"

The horse says "I don't think I am..." and promptly vanishes from existence.

See, this was a joke about Descartes' famous line from philosophy, "I think, therefore I am."

But if I had explained that before the rest of the joke, it would have been putting Descartes before the horse.