Drinking a stranger's cup of tea...

...is really not my cup of tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
While at Starbucks, I said I didn't want the sippy cup lip.

They gave me my drink and said "this is the last straw."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Choiceofart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
🚨︎ report
Optimist: "That cup is half full."

Pessimist: "That cup is half empty." Engineer: "Why are we making the cups so big?"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikethelabguy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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Itty bitty t-cup committee
πŸ‘︎ 221
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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My wife heated up a cup of coffee "just for me"

It was Lukewarm

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."

"I'm breathing underwater."

I've never been prouder.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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I spilled my cup...

... and all I got was this tea shirt

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guy-Inkognito
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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Always being asked why I'm holding two plastic drinking cups.

My answer is always the same: Because.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capedpotatoes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone offered me a nice cup of green tea

So naturally I said yes, matcha-bliged

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigolbrian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cup…

… he was mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KonoAnonDa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Anyone for a drink? A nice cup of tee?
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkimus-prime
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.

She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, β€œwhere do I drop it off?”

She says, β€œGo in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -β€œ

β€œDon’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”

... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gorhckmn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone stole my coffee cup.

Now I have to go to the police station and look at mug shots.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A Native American man drank 500 cups of tea in one sitting

Nearly drowned in his own teepee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masters330
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?

Mississippi.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said

β€œJust-ice has been served”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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My type of cup
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shpritzer1
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man always use paper cups?

He has no need for glasses.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Innarhythm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the dad say to his son who wouldn't shut up about buying him a cup so he could play sports?

Oh, put a sock in it!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Get it? Or it isn't your cup of tea?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/satire_scull
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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My wife's bra has the brand name "Splendid", embroidered on the band under one of the cups ...

I just took a sharpie and wrote "Also quite nice" under the other one.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car

Now everyone waves at me

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Cup Crimes
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrShaunce
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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A man started beating me with a cup and stole my wallet.

I think I got mugged

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDGabriel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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Guess she’s a bee-cup?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travislaker
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man takes his seat at a football world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy.

MAN: "Who would ever miss the world cup final?"

GUY: "That was my wifes seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."

MAN: "That's terrible, but couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"

GUY: "No...They are all at her Funeral!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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It’s a cup cake.
πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goosetropolis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?

For just-ice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderfighter6
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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What do you call a decent cup of coffee?

Just an average joe.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl
πŸ‘︎ 525
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geng_r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I explained to my wife, "Darling, it doesn't matter if your cup is half full or half empty, my point is..."

"You need to buy a different size bra!"

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?

You both get drunk.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supersam1434
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL: 29% of people report having to use the bathroom right after drinking a cup of coffee

The other 71% that don't are full of it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironsights
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...

When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cup of water say to the man?

"If you drink me I'll be pissed"

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue-Faces
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
cup holder
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/misumis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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My name is Joe. I'm a cup of me.
πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueLieutenant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do Christians in Japan always put an extra cup at the table?

For God's sake.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AjahnMara
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Olive Garden kid’s cups
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IHaveAThiccccCat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?

Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You did what in a cup!?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotdogburgerbun
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,

"But sir, it's fresh ground!"

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?

When it's muggy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeoshua82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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So i made this during the 2014 world cup, and thank God Germany won
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illumi_nazi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Punny coffee cup
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyssanoid
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I spilled my cup...

... and all I got was this tea shirt

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guy-Inkognito
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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